


What Are the Odds

by supergayjo



Series: What Are The Odds Series [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: BisexualJJ, F/F, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Jemily - Freeform, LesbianPrentiss, Love Confessions, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 31,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24523765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergayjo/pseuds/supergayjo
Summary: Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss meet each other in a coffee shop. The next day, JJ learns that Emily Prentiss, her Emily, is joining the BAU.ORJJ has this stupid rule about not dating her coworkers to avoid getting hurt. Is she finally gonna break that rule?
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Series: What Are The Odds Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071893
Comments: 202
Kudos: 343





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm done with my exams and like I promised, I'm back with a new fiction, I hope you guys will like it. Like I say every time I post something, English isn't my first language, I'm french, so I might make some mistakes, please don't hesitate to tell me if you see one! 
> 
> Like After Dusk, I made a playlist on Spotify that I listen to when I write, so you can check it out! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Ch117PmjiHJwuZmiNW2wM?si=4uuprJq_QCCXoCeRS4Wc6Q

_“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” -_ Cassandra Clare

_SEPTEMBER_

“Hi, what can I get you?” Said the barista, with a welcoming smile. According to her name tag, her name was Grace. 

The woman in front of her squinted, looking at the huge board behind her. “Hm hi, could I have an Americano, no sugar?”

“Yes sure, what size?”

“The biggest one please” said the woman, looking tired.

“Short night?”

“Pretty much yeah” 

“What’s your name?”

“Emily” 

“Beautiful name”

“Not as beautiful as Grace”said Emily, smiling.

Grace laughed a little, which made her even cuter than she was before. “It’ll be three dollars”

Emily took out a five dollars bill before saying “keep the change”. 

A few minutes later, Grace gave Emily her coffee “Have a great day Emily, I hope I’ll see you again one day”

“I’ll definitely be back” said Emily, with a wink. 

She liked flirting like that, it was the only thing she liked about being freshly single, she had missed that. She turned around, looking for somewhere to sit. “Fuck” she whispered to herself. Every seat was taken. She noticed in the back of the coffee shop a blonde girl, reading a book. The chair in front of her was free, and she seemed nice. She walked up to her and asked “Hey, hm, is this seat available?”. 

The blonde woman closed her book to look at her and made a hand gesture to invite her to sit down “Yes of course”. She had blue eyes and a beautiful smile, which made Emily’s pulse rate became faster and she stopped breathing. Blue eyes were her weakness. Then she realized that she had been standing there for too long, the woman was looking at her, not knowing why she hadn’t sat down yet. The almost missed the chair. 

“I’m Emily” she said, trying to calm down. 

The woman in front of her shook her hand and said “Jennifer, but you can call me JJ”

“Nice to meet you JJ”

“Nice to meet you Emily”. 

Her voice was beautiful too. Gosh everything was beautiful about this woman, was she even real? Emily kept asking herself that question. “Is it always crowded liked this?” She asked, looking around her. 

“Pretty much yeah, it used to be a small coffee shop that nobody knew, but apparently a few months ago some reality TV star or whatever found and made it “trendy” or whatever the kids say these days” JJ looked annoyed by this. 

“I hate it when that happens, it can ruin beautiful things. Even though I’m pretty sure the owner must be pleased to have so many costumers. But I still don’t understand why there is so many people on a Sunday at nine in the morning, don’t people like to sleep in on weekends in Washington?” Wondered Emily

“You’re not from here, are you?” Asked JJ

“Yeah, I moved here from London a few weeks ago”

“Oooh, you were tired of the healthcare system there? Or the accent? It was the accent, wasn’t it?” Laughed JJ.

Emily chuckled “No, I got a new job here, something more interesting so I decided to come back to America”. She looked at the book JJ was reading before she arrived. “Madame Bovary?”

“What?”

“Hm, the book, that you were reading, _Madame Bovary_ by Flaubert”

“Oh, that” JJ put her hand on the book. She had read about the half of it. 

“It’s a really good book! I loved it”

“You read it?”

“I did, a few years ago, but I read it in French, it’s more authentic” 

JJ crossed her arms and looked at her “Are you showing off?” 

“Maybe? A little bit yes”

“To be honest, if I was fluent in French I would be showing off too”

“So you like old French literature?”

“Not really, my friend Spencer thinks I don’t read enough ‘good books’” She said, rolling her eyes. 

“What do you read then?”

“Let me see…Lately I’ve been reading _Harold and the Purple Crayon_ , _The Pout-Pout Fish_ , _The Wonderful Things you will be,_ and I recently purchased the famous _Chicka Chicka Boom Boom_ ” She said sarcastically. She noticed Emily was confused “I have a five years-old at home”. 

The both started laughing. “Well I don’t know if _Madame Bovary_ is gonna be as good as _Chicka Chicka Boom Boom_ but it’s a pretty good book, your friend Spencer is right”. 

Emily took a sip of her coffee, which was still definitely too hot and made a funny face, which made JJ smile even more. She wasn’t gonna be able to taste anything in the next two hours, but it was worth it. 

“So, tell me, what does a mother of a five year old do in a coffee shop on an early Sunday morning?”

“He’s with his dad for the weekend, and I don’t like the house when he’s not here, so I usually go out, and I usually come here because it’s nice and warm.”

“Oh”

“Yeah, we’re not together anymore, we have a complicated history, trust me you don’t want to know”

“Well its Sunday morning, I’m new in town, I don’t start work until tomorrow, and you seem really interesting, so I’m all ears”

“I warned you, my life is really boring.”

“I’m sure it’s not”

“I met Will at work seven years ago, we got along really well and I fell in love, we started dating and everything, and two years later, I was 28, I got pregnant. It was an accident, I guess the pill isn’t always effective, but when I told him he basically took off and let me alone and pregnant and terrified. But I was lucky enough to have my friends with me, they helped me, went with me to the doctor’s appointments, and nine months later, I gave birth to a wonderful, beautiful baby. His name is Henry, and honestly he’s a blessing. And two years later, Will showed up at my place, crying, saying he still loved me and that he wanted to be a part of his son’s life. Of course I didn’t love him anymore, and I didn’t want him anywhere near Henry. But I realized that Henry was lucky enough to have a dad that’s alive, and that actually wants to be a part of his life. So we decided that he would spend one weekend a month with him, but nothing more. Surprisingly he said yes, he said that he wanted to do things right, and that I was Henry’s mother, and I was the one in charge. So now Henry’s five, and he loves his dad, and if he’s happy then I’m happy. But I still hate my house when he’s not in it”. 

“Oh wow, that’s…not boring at all? You seem really brave to go through this, and your friends must be really good people” Emily said, in awe. 

“Okay your turn, I feel like I shared way too much about my life to a stranger, which by the way is something that I don’t usually do, I don’t even usually talk to strangers like that. So tell me, who are you?”

“Well I’m Emily Prentiss, I don’t have kids, I’m recently single, which is why it didn’t take me long to made up my mind about leaving London”

“I’m sorry, it’s always hard”

“Actually, not really, we had been together for five years, but she started cheating on me two years ago with her assistant, what a fucking cliché. I knew it and I stayed because it was easier, I stopped loving her a long time ago, but she still felt like home, it was nice to come home to someone, not to be alone. But then I realized that I wasn’t really living anymore, I didn’t like my job, I didn’t love my girlfriend, I didn’t even like London, so when I got offered a job in Washington, I didn’t even hesitate, I said yes, broke up with Claire, sold my apartment and left.”

JJ raised an eyebrow when Emily started talking about a “she”. She was surprised because usually her gaydar is never wrong, she would have swore Emily was straight. But then she looked at her a little bit closely and realized she had missed all of the signs. Maybe her gaydar wasn’t as good as it used to be. 

“JJ?”

“Oh yeah, sorry, are you gay?” JJ realized that what she had just asked was incredibly rude and put her hand in front of her mouth “I’m so sorry this was not appropriate, I- I’m really sorry I shouldn’t have said that”

“No it’s okay” Emily smiled “yeah I’m a lesbian, why?”

“Because usually my gaydar works but apparently when you don’t use it for a long time, it doesn’t work as well as it used to”

Emily looked at her with pursed lips. “So you’re…”

“Bisexual”

“Well you know what? I use mine all the time, and yet it didn’t recognize you, so I guess we’re special?”

“Maybe we are” JJ smiled. 

The two women got interrupted when Emily’s phone started ringing “Fuck, it’s my landlord” she said before picking up. “Yes mister Franklin? … Yes…Yes…Yes it’s mine…Okay I’m on my way, I’ll be there in ten minutes…Thank you mister Franklin” She hung up and looked at the blonde woman “I’m really sorry, there’s a small problem with my apartment, I have to go”

“Oh okay, don’t worry”

“It was really nice to meet you Jennifer”

“It was really nice to meet you too Emily”

Emily got up, but right before leaving, she stole a pen from the person sitting next to them and wrote something on the JJ’s napkin. “This is my number, call me if you ever need someone to keep you company” She gave her the napkin and left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was it for the first chapter! i hope you liked it, if you did please let me know in the comments and leave some kudos! i'll post chapter 2 next sunday  
> have a great day/night, and stay safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! here's chapter 2, i hope everyone's okay!  
> I'm really excited, thank you for all the nice comments, i hope i won't disappoint you haha

“Henry!” shouted JJ from the doorstep “We’re gonna be late buddy, hurry”. A little boy came running with an adorable backpack that was probably larger than him. They made their way up to the car so that JJ could drop her son at school before going to work. She helped him get into his car seat and they left for school. 

She parks on the preschool’s parking lot. It was a miracle they weren’t late, it meant that she had time to actually walk him to his classroom. Henry loved showing off her mom to his friends, he would always put on his proud face and say “my mom catches the bad guys”. He took her hand to make her walk faster because he wanted to introduce her to his new friends he had made this year. JJ helped him put his coat on the coat hanger next to his classroom. He started pointing at some kids “this is Andy, he doesn’t know how to write his name but he’s nice” “this is Jacob, he gives me candies sometimes” “this is Ethan, he’s mean but I told him my mom works at the FBI so he left me alone” “and this is Mia and I love her”. JJ smiled, Henry was really good at making friends. 

She had to leave to she planted a kiss on the top of his head and said “I love you baby, Emma will come pick you up after school and if I don’t have bad guys to catch I will come home early, okay?” He looked at her with his blue eyes and his perfect smile. She hugged him tight before letting him go into his classroom. He said hi to his friends and at the last moment turned around to wave at his mom. JJ waved back before going back to her car. Henry was by far the best thing that had happened to her. She hadn’t planned on having kids like this. She always imagined she’d have her first kid after getting married, she hadn’t planned on getting pregnant and being a single mom. But it didn’t matter now, Henry was perfect, just thinking about him made her day better, she couldn’t have dreamt of a better life. Ever since Henry was born, she hadn’t felt the need for someone else in her life, even though the woman she had met the day before was really hot and nice, and definitely her type. 

Right before getting in her car her phone rang, it was a text from Spencer. “ _They found a replacement for Elle/Gideon, apparently Hotch is gonna introduce them today, where are you?_ ”

“ _In the car, I just dropped off Henry at school, I’m on my way_ ”. 

Ever since Elle and Gideon were gone, they had been looking for a replacement but it was harder than they thought, turns out people weren’t that excited about working at the BAU after everything that had happened to them. But apparently Hotch had found someone, which was good news because they desperately needed someone. Ten minutes later, she was getting on the elevator of the FBI headquarters. 

She went into her office to put her stuff before getting some coffee. Spencer and Penelope were waiting for her in front of the conference room. 

“Do you know who it is? The new guy?” Asked Penelope. She was always the curious one, she knew everything that was going on in this building, no secret was safe from Garcia, she’d always find out, and sometimes it could be annoying, but everyone loved her anyway. 

“Nope, no idea” she answered, trying to look at the window of Hotch’s office, he was talking to someone and was blocking her view. 

“Oh oh he’s moving, he’s coming our way, let’s take a seat”. Penelope hurried inside the conference room. 

They sat down around the table. Penelope was right, Hotch entered the room, followed by a woman. JJ almost chocked on her coffee. “You okay?” whispered Spencer. 

“yup, yup, totally” she said, still coughing a little. 

Hotch started talking “So, as most of you know, we have a new member of this team. This is Emily Prentiss”. He looked at the woman who waved at everyone, she looked at everyone and her eyes suddenly widened in shock at the sight of JJ. 

“She just got back from London, she used to work at Interpol, and I think she’s gonna be a great asset to this team. Would you like to say a few words maybe?” He took a step back to let Emily talk. 

“Hm yes, good morning everyone, I’m really excited to become a part of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Like he said, I used to work at Interpol, but I needed change. So when Erin Strauss reached out to me, saying you guys needed someone, I had to said yes. I’m specialised in linguistic, I speak Spanish, Arabic, French, Italian and Russian and I have some basic knowledge of most eastern European languages, which makes it more easy in terms of communicating with some unsubs”

“She’s right” said Spencer “It has been proven that speaking to a hostage taker, for example, in his native language makes it easier to build some trust, makes him more vulnerable and easier to take down without any more casualties.”

Emily nodded “Exactly. 

“In fact, more than 96,5 percent of the population-”

“We get it Reid” said Hotch as he usually did when Reid started rambling. He started introducing the team to Emily “This is Doctor Spencer Reid”

“He’s our personal genius, better than any computer, he has PhDs in basically everything, and knows everything, you can ask him how many rabbits there are in the desert of Nevada he’ll give you the answer immediately, and trust me you don’t want to play trivia with him, unless he’s on your team” said the guy seating next to him. 

“I don’t know _everything_ , but yes I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and I can read 20 000 words per minute”

“See? Like I said, this kid is a genius. I’m Derek Morgan by the way”. 

“Yes, this is SSA Derek Morgan, SSA David Rossi, Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst and there is Jennifer Jareau, she’s the communications liaison”

JJ smiled at her and said “Welcome Emily”. 

“JJ, there’s no new cases for us?”

“Not yet, I still have a few files to go through but for the first time in months, people don’t need us. But you might need to make some phone calls to guide a few investigations, but it’s not important enough for us to actually go there, they just need some guidance.”

“Okay, so I guess it’s a good time for everyone else to do some paperwork?” Said Hotch while everyone sighed. No one likes paperwork, but it was unfortunately part of their work. “Garcia you have to update all the internet system, right?”

“Yes. sir, I’m gonna start right now.” Said Penelope before leaving the room. 

“JJ, can you give Emily a tour of the floor before getting to work?” 

“Yes, of course” said JJ as she got up from her chair “Let’s go”. 

Emily followed JJ who showed her to her desk and gave her a small tour. 

“You never told me you worked for the FBI” Said Emily while they were walking through the halls. 

“You never told me you were about to work for the FBI”

“Point taken, I guess it’s a third date kind of thing” said Emily with a smirk. 

“Yeah I guess” JJ knocked on a door and a female voice yelled “enter”. 

She opened the door to reveal Penelope in front of her many many computer screens. She turned around “hey guys”

“I’m just showing Emily around, and I figured she had to see your beautiful lair”

“Makes sense, it’s the most interesting part of the building” Penelope opened her arms and turned on her chair “Welcome newbie”. 

Emily looked around, curious, she looked at her desk, covered with unicorns and mermaids and colourful pens and sticky notes. 

“Oh yeah, I don’t like the creepy/disgusting/awful part of the job where I need to look at dead bodies and serial killers so I need some positivity around me, it’s my coping mechanism”

“Well, everyone needs one, and yours is really beautiful to see”

“Thanks” Penelope turned to JJ, and whispered “I like her”. One of Garcia’s screen started beeping. “Oh, the update’s ready, sorry you guys but I need to get back to this”

“Sure, see you later?” Said JJ

“Of course my loves” answered Garcia, she looked at Emily “you’re cool newbie, enjoy the rest of your tour”. 

Emily thanked her and the two women left the room. 

“Okay, now I need to show you the best part of this building, and unlike Garcia said, it’s not her office.” 

Emily followed her, curious. They entered the main hall and JJ guided her to the coffee machine. “ _This_ , this is the most important part of the building. And if I remember correctly, you like americanos, right?”

“You pay attention to details, huh?”

“I might not be a profiler, but I picked up some skills by working with them for more than seven years. My skills include noticing which kind of coffees people like and believe it or not, it once helped catch an unsub, but that’s a story for later, I actually need to get to work. But look, if you need anything, my door is always opened…unless Spencer tries some of his science tricks, when he does my door is locked because the last time he tried something he almost gave me a heart attack and broke my window, but that also a story for later” JJ smiled at her and went into her office. 

_“I do not believe in meaningless coincidences. I believe every coincidence is a message, a clue about a particular facet of our lives that requires our attention”_ \- Deepak Chopra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's it for today, i hope you liked it, please let me know in the comments! thank you for all the support, it's really amazing.   
> I'll post next chapter tuesday or wednesday, i don't know yet. 
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> \- Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back with chapter 3! i really liked writing it, so i hope you'll like reading it as well :)

Her first case with the BAU was finally over, the unsub had been arrested pretty quickly and had surrender without any more casualties. It was one of the good cases. They had left the jet twenty minutes ago and everyone was ready to go home. Emily was tidying up her desk. She raised her head and saw JJ in her office, she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. She decided to go talk to her. She stood in the doorway for a few seconds, waiting for JJ to notice her, but she had her head buried in the pile of files on her desk. 

“Do you ever stop working?” 

The voice of Emily made the other woman jump and put a hand on her chest “Oh my God Emily you scared me”

Emily chuckled “I’m sorry”

“But to answer your question, yes sometimes I stop working”

“That’s not good enough, you’re not gonna spend your Friday night working on those files, you deserve a break. I guess you don’t have Henry this weekend?”

“No, Will’s parents are in town and they want to spend time with their grandson.”

“That’s why you don’t want to leave the office?”

“Basically”

“No.”

“What?”

“You’re not working late on a Friday night, I’m not gonna let you do that, you’re coming with me”

“Where?”

“We’re gonna get drunk, and you can’t say no because I’m new in town and I need company and you’re too nice to say no”

“How do you know I’m “too nice to say no”” asked JJ, mimicking Emily’s voice. 

“So? You’re coming with me?” Asked Emily, raising an eyebrow. 

“I-“ JJ sighed “Yes, I’m coming”. 

The brunette smirked as she looked at JJ putting on her coat. They left the building together. 

There was a bar nearby so they decided to walk there, and since they were probably going to need a taxi to drive them home, it was safer for their cars to stay in the underground parking than on the bar’s parking lot. 

The bar wasn’t crowded, which was better, they were gonna be able to talk without having to yell and only understand half of what they would be saying. They found a booth available.

“I’ll get the first round, what do you want?” Asked Emily while JJ was sitting down. 

“Let’s start with a beer” 

“Perfect”. Emily left to order their drinks. 

She came back with two beers followed by a waitress who put six shots on their table. 

“Seriously?”

“We’ve had a really long week, trust me we need this. Three shots of tequila for you and three shots of vodka for me” said Emily as she sat down

“I’ll start with the beer please and thank you”

“Suit yourself”

Emily took her first shot without even flinching, and JJ just a sip of beer. 

“So, we didn’t really get to talk on Sunday” said Emily

“Oh yeah by the way, everything’s good with your apartment?”

“Yes, my landlord is just a pain in the ass, and he seems to hate the fact that I have a cat, even though animals are allowed”

“I don’t blame him”

“Jennifer please tell me you’re not the kind of person that hates cats”

“I don’t _hate_ them, I’m just more of a dog person”

“I just lost a lot of respect for you, woman”

“C’mon, cats are evil, they’re not affectionate, they think they’re better than you, they’re arrogant, I just don’t like them. Dogs are perfect, they love you unconditionally, they like cuddles, they’re always happy to see you, they’re angels.”

“Well you haven’t met Sergio, he’s perfect”

“Your cat’s name is Sergio?”

“If you even _think_ of criticizing that name I’m leaving.”

“Don’t worry, it’s cute actually”

“Thanks”. 

An hour later, they had both took all their shots and they were feeling way more relaxed. They had started talking about deeper subjects, and confided to each other. 

“My dad disappeared the second I was born, so I only had my mom who traveled a lot because of her job, so I followed her everywhere. I went to a dozen different schools, and trust me it’s hard to build friendships and don’t get me started on romantic relationships.” Emily chuckled, remembering all of the obstacles she had encounter when she was just a kid. She was actually surprised she had become the woman she is today. 

“How did you know you were a lesbian?” Asked JJ, curious. 

“I think I was around twelve, I had a crush on this French girl from my school in Paris, her name was Camille and she was the only friend I had there. Then I had my first kiss with this girl Dylan in Australia when I was like fifteen but we didn’t even have time to become like girlfriends of whatever because I moved again.”

“That’s really sad, I’m sorry, it must have been really hard…Did your mom accepted you? Like when you came out?”

“Actually, I never really had to come out, at least no on my own terms because surprised me making out with Amy when I was sixteen and freaked out, it didn’t really go well and when I was eighteen I moved out and started my own life and she basically disappeared from my life. We see each other once a year, and still hates the fact that I’m gay, but I can see that she’s trying to change.”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, what about you? What’s your story?”

“I fell in love when I was seventeen with a girl, but nothing happened, it was at that moment that I realized I was bi, and I came out to my parents right before leaving for college. My mom told me to leave and that she never wanted to see me again, she said all of the basic homophobic things, and my dad stood by her side but never said anything. Fortunately I had a full scholarship for college so it was easier for me to become financially independent. And then a few years later my dad left my mom and apologized to me, I let him back into my life and now we’re really close, so I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. But I don’t think my mom will ever be okay with that.”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry, I’ve made my peace a long time ago. Let me go get some more drinks, this round is on me” said JJ. 

Emily was genuinely surprise, even drunk, she hated talking about her childhood, especially this aspect, she never even had told her ex about it. But with JJ, it was easy, they had known each other for only two weeks, and she felt already comfortable, she felt like she could tell her anything and that she would never judge her. It was a rare quality. And the fact that her smile was warm and beautiful helped. She felt safe with her. At first being alone in DC was hard for her, she was used to move somewhere and not knowing anyone, but it was never easy and it would never be. But she wasn’t alone anymore. 

“Here’s a margarita” said JJ with a bright smile. 

“Okay I have a question.” Said Emily seriously “Do you think Hotch can smile? Like have you _ever_ seen him smile?”

JJ started laughing when she realized that she had never seen him really smile, the kind of smile that shows your teeth, he never did. “I- I don’t think so”

They were interrupted by the bartender “Excuse me ladies, we’re about to close”

“Oh, okay, we’re gonna go” they both said before getting up. They left the bar and called their cabs. 

“Mine is gonna be there in ten minutes” said Emily

“Mine is gonna be there in two minutes, I beat you” said JJ, giving her a shoulder bump. 

“I guess we should say goodbye”

“I guess we should”. 

Emily realized that they were standing really close to each other, she could feel JJ’s breath near her face. She was even more beautiful from this point of view. The alcohol made her cheeks a bit more red, her eyes a bit more shiny, her breathing was short, she was looking directly at her, not saying anything. JJ looked at her lips, and made eye contact with her again. Emily’s mind was blank, she moved JJ’s blond hair behind her ear and stroke her cheek. She closed her eyes and let her lips gently meet hers. JJ quickly opened her mouth, letting Emily in. She could taste the acidity of the alcohol and the sweetness of the sugar. She could feel her heart racing in her chest, they both needed to catch their breath. 

But when Emily tried to kiss her again, JJ took a step back. The cold air had made her come back to reality. “Listen Emily…I’m so sorry, I really really like you, and you have no idea how hard it is for me right now to not ask you to come back to my place, but I don’t date people I work with, I can’t it’s too messy, especially in this line of work”. 

“Oh” Emily couldn’t hide her disappointment, but she understood. “I understand, it’s okay. I mean, I’m definitely disappointed, but I get it, as long as we can stay friends”

“I’m okay with friends” JJ smiled gently. 

A car stopped next to them, it was JJ’s cab. “Bye Em”. She waved at her and got in the car. Emily looked at the car disappearing in the night and put her fingers on her lips, not completely realizing what had just happened.

_“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial one in any love story”_ \- Emil Ludwig 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it! please don't hate me for how this chapter ends haha, but i think we all know that not every love story is as easy as we would like it to be! but don't worry, they'll find their way back to each other. 
> 
> I hope you liked it, if you did let me know in the comments! I'll post the next chapter on Friday. Have a great day/night, and see you soon. 
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> \- Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! i'm back with chapter 4, i hope you'll like it! once again thank you so much for your nice comments, it helps a lot.   
> Enjoy!

_OCTOBER_

A month had gone by since their kiss. At first things were really awkward and they started acting weird around each other, it took them a few weeks to forget about all this and become real friends. Things were fine now, and JJ was really happy to have Emily as a friend. 

Emily had told her her birthday was on October 12 but she wasn’t gonna celebrate it, she didn’t really like her birthday. But there was no way JJ was gonna let her friend alone for her birthday. So she gathered the whole team at the bar (ironically the one where they had kissed but it didn’t matter anymore) to get a drink and, of course, eat cake. It was gonna be a surprise for Emily, and JJ was more than excited. It was Saturday and it was their day off. 

“Okay, everyone is here?” Asked JJ, looking around. Everyone was here, they just had to wait for Emily. “I’m gonna call Emily”. 

She dialled her number, her friend picked up almost immediately. “Hey Em, what’s up?”

“Hey, nothing, what about you?”

“I was wondering…would you like to come grab a drink? Henry is with the babysitter tonight so I’m free. Also it’s mandatory, so your only possible answer is yes”

“Okay, sure, where are you?”

“Amber Street Bar?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes”

“Perfect, see you soon”

“See you soon”. 

JJ was relieved Emily said yes, she had planned all of this at the last minutes and kinda forgot to ask if Emily already had plans with someone. She turned around to face the team “She’s gonna be there in fifteen minutes, we should start ordering drinks!”

Like she promised, Emily was there fifteen minutes later. “She’s parking her car” said JJ, looking out the window. “Ready?”

The front door opened, and everyone yelled “SURPRISE” just to face a thirty years old guy, definitely surprised. The team started laughing, and a few seconds later Emily came in, the surprise was ruined. She was smiling, she had heard them yelling from the other side of the parking. “Well, what a surprise, you probably scared that poor guy to death”. 

“Sorry” said Penelope as she hugged her “Happy Birthday! I can’t believe you didn’t want to celebrate!” 

“Well…I guess I’m celebrating this year?”

“Oh definitely” said JJ before hugging her and giving her a drink “We already drank a little, you need to catch up”

“You don’t need to ask me twice”. Emily took her coat off and grabbed the drink her friend was handing her. “Thanks”. 

“So? What does it feel like to be forty? Do you feel old yet?” Asked Rossi

“Not as old as you Dave” answered Emily, grinning. 

“Good, because I feel younger than ever” Rossi winked at her. 

“Okay guys I’m drinking on an empty stomach so if we don’t get some cake fast I might start hitting on strangers and make a fool of myself” said Penelope

“Babygirl you don’t need alcohol to do that” Derek smiled, putting his arms around her “But yes we should probably eat some cake”.

“Let me go get it” JJ went to talk to the bartender who handed her the cake with candles on top. She started singing the birthday song with the rest of the team while walking slowly towards her. She carefully put the cake on the table next to them so that Emily could blow out all of the candles easily. They counted to three and Emily blew them out all at once. They all cheered, which made Emily smile even more than before. JJ brought a knife to start cutting the cake and gave a piece to everyone, starting with the birthday girl. 

They all ate the cake in no time, and when they were done, Emily stood up with her glass in her hand and cleared her throat “I guess now is the time to give a speech? I have to warn you, I’m tipsy and not good at public speaking when it’s not related to work, so it might not make a lot of sense, please stop me if I start to ramble.” She took a sip of her drink and started “I hate celebrating my birthday. It was hard to make friends when I was a kid considering my mother and I moved every two months, so I was never able to have a birthday party, and I was never invited to other’s birthday parties. My mom was always really busy, and she would never remember my birthday, and she still does. So I’ve never celebrated my birthday and started treating this day like any other day. But I have to say, the fact that you guys took the time to organize this, to spend your Saturday night here with me, it means the world to me. We’ve only known each other for a little bit more than a month, but I can say that you’re a part of my closest friends. Thank you for everything.” Everyone clapped, telling her they felt the same way about her. 

JJ was the next person to stand up “I’m gonna be really short, but I just want to wish you a happy birthday. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday with the people close to them. I’m sorry you spent most of your life without that chance, but we’re here now, and trust me we’re going to help you make up for lost time. So happy birthday Emily, and here’s to many more birthday celebrated with us” She raised her glass before drinking the rest of it “now let’s DANCE”. 

The music was loud and a lot of people were dancing. It was hot. It was usually Emily’s worst nightmares, but she couldn’t care less, she was happy, she was dancing with her friends, and that was all that mattered. JJ ended up dancing really close to her, they were shouting the words to “Dancing Queen” at the top of their lungs. No matter what people said, nothing could top the music from the 70s, thought JJ. Suddenly the music changed to a slow song. Everyone started slow dancing, JJ and Emily were face to face in the middle of everyone dancing. JJ cleared her throat and said “hm, I need to go to the toilets” and left Emily standing there. Okay, things weren’t “totally fine” yet, there were still some awkward moments like this one. But except for that, things were totally fine. 

JJ opened the door of the toilets, it was empty. She leaned on the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. She felt a little bit sick, she must have drunk too much. She splashed some water on herself. She heard the door open and saw Emily come in. She handed her a glass of water. “I had a feeling you might need this”. 

JJ smiled and took the glass the brunette was handing her. “Thanks, I do”. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry, I just don’t hold my liquor as much as I used to” She drank the water, which made her realize how thirsty she was. “I think I’m just gonna go home”.

She took her phone and called a cab. After a few seconds she hung up “He’s gonna be there in ten minutes, I’m gonna say bye to everyone”. 

She left the toilets followed by Emily. She said goodbye to everyone, she put on her coat and asked Emily “could you come outside with me for a minute while I wait?”

“Yes sure!” They left the bar, the air wasn’t really cold, but enough to make JJ sober up a little. She reached for something in her pocket. She turned around to face Emily. “I know you don’t like celebrating your birthday and I know you don’t like presents, but there was no way I wasn’t gonna give you something”

“JJ, you really didn’t have to…”

“I know, but I wanted to”. 

She gave her a small box. Emily opened it and gasp “JJ, i-“ 

“You told me you really liked jade, and when I saw this jade bracelet, I had to buy it for you.”

“It’s…it’s really beautiful, thank you”. It was too dark for JJ to notice Emily was crying, but she could hear Emily’s voice break. She hugged her tight. “You deserve so much more than what you got in life”

“Thank you for everything, for what you did tonight, for being my friend” she said. 

JJ’s cab interrupted them and forced her to break the hug. They both smiled as JJ got in the cab. Right before JJ closed the door, Emily said “Get home safely, text me when you’re there”

“Will do, enjoy the rest of the night Em, you deserve it”. 

_“Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one’s own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen”_ \- Robert Lynd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for today! i hope you enjoyed reading it :) I'll be back with chapter 5 on Monday or Tuesday. If you liked it leave some kudos/comments!
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! sorry i'm a little late, these past few days have been really stressful and i kinda forgot to post chapter 5 haha. But here it is! I hope you'll like it.

_NOVEMBER_

Michele Cook once said “ _savor the small moments, the big one may stick in your head but those small quiet everyday moments are more important than any one big moment_ ”. 

The Christmas market downtown had just opened, and Henry had begged JJ to take him, and while talking about it with her coworkers, it turned out that Henry wasn’t the only one excited about it. So on a Sunday afternoon here they were, JJ, Henry, Emily, Penelope, Reid and Morgan at the Christmas market with thousands of other people. The Christmas spirit was already here, the smell of cinnamon and chocolate, the cold from the late November wind, the heat from the crowed, the songs, the colour red everywhere, the Christmas trees, and the stars in her son’s eyes. It was heartwarming. It was the end of the afternoon and the sun was already setting. Penelope and Reid had spoiled their godson, especially with candies and chocolate, he was on a constant sugar rush since the beginning of the afternoon. 

“Mommy! Mommy! Can we go see if they have toys there?” Henry was pointing at a booth nearby. JJ couldn’t say no to his puppy eyes, but when she opened her mouth, he was already holding Penelope’s hand, guiding her while she was getting her wallet. At that sight, JJ couldn’t help but roll her eyes and smile. Penelope was crazy about him and if JJ didn’t stop her, she’d spend all of her savings for her godson.

“Go! We’re gonna try to find some coffee” said Derek to JJ. 

“Okay! See you later guys”

“See ya!”. 

JJ ran after her son and her friend to try and stop Garcia from buying the whole booth. 

Morgan looked at Emily and Reid “Let’s go?”. They made their way through the crowd to find the nearest booth that served drinks. The line was huge, and Emily really needed to get her fix of caffeine, she started pulling out her badge. Derek noticed what she was about to do and stopped her “as much as I want you to do that, we should probably wait like everyone else”. Emily rolled her eyes, knowing he was right. They went to the end of the line. 

By the time they had their coffees, the sun had officially set. They were all tired and wanted to go home. They went to the booth JJ and Penelope were with Henry but they weren’t there anymore. 

“I’m gonna try to call JJ” said Emily as she dialled her number, and a few seconds later she hung up “It went to voicemail, her battery must be dead”.

“I’m gonna call Garcia” said Derek and hung up just like Emily did “She didn’t pick up, they must be talking”. 

“So what do we do?” Asked Spencer who really wanted to leave. 

“This. This is why I keep saying we can’t rely on technology, we need to do it the old fashion way”. Derek started screaming at the top of his lungs “BABYGIRL”. A dozen of moms turned around while holding their daughters’ hands tighter. “Okay, now that I think about that wasn’t the best thing to yell”. 

Emily and Spencer started laughing before shouting JJ and Garcia’s names in the crowd. There was no signs of them. They weren’t worried, JJ and Penelope were grown ups and FBI agents, they were probably just not paying attention. 

“Wait, I know how to find them” said Emily with a brilliant idea. 

“How?” Asked Derek. 

Emily climbed on the bench next to them, put her hands near her mouth and shouted “RITZ TASTE BETTER THAN CHEETOS” and almost immediately an outraged voice answered “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”. It was JJ, fiercely defending her favorite snack. Emily looked at Derek and Spencer, who were just speechless, jumped out of the bench, gave them a satisfied grin “this way”. They sneaked through the crowd to meet Penelope, JJ and Henry so that they would finally be able to go home. 

A few days later, it was early in the morning, everyone was hanging out near Emily’s desk, waiting for Hotch to come in. JJ had the next case ready to present in the conference room as soon as whole team would be ready. In the mean time, Emily was sitting on the edge of her desk, talking to Morgan about what she used to do at her old job. JJ wasn’t really listening, she was sitting on Emily’s chair and trying to use her computer to do check out something. 

“So yeah, at the end it was pretty boring I guess” said Emily at the end of a long monologue

Morgan looked at her open mouthed, and said “You call that boring? That’s like…I don’t know it’s just so cool and so big compared to what we’re doing here, how can you find that boring?” 

“Well it’s a lot of paperwork, like way more than what we do here, and yeah we catch the bad guys, but I was almost never on the field. Don’t get me wrong-“ Emily stopped, she had been looking at JJ out of the corner of her eyes. She was still trying to use her computer but it didn’t really seem to be working, so she kept clenching her jaw and basically growling out of frustration. 

“Emily?” Asked Morgan, noticing she wasn’t paying attention to their conversation. 

“Yeah, right, sorry, I was saying that I loved the fact that we made a difference there, we stopped dangerous people that were operating not in just one country, we were…It was really important and really had an impact on the whole world. I loved that. But I was stuck in an office most of the time making phone calls and just…I was on the outside, and that’s what I didn’t liked and what made it boring.”

“Okay, now I get it, it’s definitely different from what we do here, I mean, we’re always on the field, talking to the family, we’re physically there, and when the cases end well, it’s always heart warming when you can see the look on a mother that gets her son back”

“Exactly, that’s what I didn’t have in London, I knew what I did made a difference, but I couldn’t see it with my own eyes.” Emily got distracted again, JJ was still struggling and was becoming more and more frustrated. She finally decided to intervene when she saw JJ was ready to literally punch it. 

“Hey hey hey calm down Hulk” She took the keyboard away from the young woman “It’s brand new, leave it alone”

“Well it’s broken”

Emily grinned “I’m pretty sure it’s not, no offense but the most logical explanation is that you just suck at it. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it for you”

“Henry’s teacher said she published some picture on their website and I want to see them but apparently your “brand new” computer doesn’t want to open a new window”

Emily started typing on the keyboard, she was close to JJ’s face, her hair were tickling her cheeks. And suddenly everything worked and Emily was already on the school’s website. She looked at the young woman, frowning with her arms crossed “Try not to frown so much JJ, everyone sucks at something, you can’t be perfect”. JJ rolled her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that's it, i just wanted to share some cute/friendly moments between the two women, i know that in most fanfictions the story is more smooth or something, but i don't know, i didn't really feel like writing something like that for this one? i hope it doesn't bother you.
> 
> I'll be back with chapter 6 this weekend. If you liked this chapter please let me know in the comments!
> 
> Stay safe
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm bak with Chapter 6, it's a bit short but i promise i'll post chapter 7 soon :) I hope everyone is feeling okay. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_DECEMBER_

“So, how was your Christmas?” Asked Emily. 

“It was great, my father came to visit us and Henry was so happy to spend time with him! And he got _a lot_ of gifts from his god mother” answered JJ, looking at Penelope standing next to her. 

“C’mon, he’s the only person I’m allowed to spoil, so I’m definitely planning to do that for the rest of his life.” 

“What about you?”

“I don’t really like Christmas, but a friend visited me for a few days so we celebrated together. And by celebrated I mean got drunk and almost passed out on the floor of my living room. So yeah, it was a great Christmas”

JJ and Penelope laughed at Emily’s answer. 

“Okay but I’m so excited, this is your first “Rossi party”, it’s gonna be awesome. Not as awesome as the ones he does in his backyard, but it’s not happening today unless we want to freeze to death” said Penelope, looking at the huge amount of snow outside. 

“I’m excited too, I feel like it’s the perfect way to start a new year” said Emily. 

“It’s gonna be great, you’ll see.” 

Rossi came back in the room with his famous spaghetti, which made everyone rush to the table, ready to taste it. 

“You’re gonna be the first persons to taste my new recipe, so please be honest, I can’t take criticism.”

“I’m pretty sure we won’t have anything bad to say about your cooking skills Dave” said Morgan as he sat down between Penelope and Reid. Everyone from the team was there, including Tara Lewis, the newest addition to the team. Emily was officially not the “newbie” anymore, Tara was the one getting teased by everyone. But she was very sweet, and it was always a pleasure to have another powerful woman in that team that had been mostly male dominated since the beginning. 

“Please raise your glasses, it’s time for a toast” said Rossi, standing up. “I’m glad I get to spend the last moments of 2019 with my family. You guys are my family. And god knows I’ve had my share of families, I got married three times. You are my longest relationship, and you’re the reason I can keep doing this job that would be incredibly hard if I was on my own. Tara, you’re new here, but we often use quotes to illustrate our speeches, so here it is. George Bernard Shaw once said that “Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten”. Unfortunately, our family suffered a lot of losses, some of us lost their lives, and some of us lost close ones. But we will never forget them, they’ll always be a part of us. And our family experiences births, Jack and Henry are also a part of this family, and they will always be. I’m blessed. So I wanted to thank you, there’s no one I’d rather start this new year with. Now let’s drink before I start getting really emotional. Cheers” 

Everyone raised their glasses “Cheers”. 

They spent the whole dinner talking about the funniest thing they had experienced together, all of the good times that made their jobs a little bit easier. They were laughing, smiling, everyone was having a good time. 

“Oh my god Dave do you still have that karaoke machine?” Asked JJ out of the blue. 

“I think so, let me check” Rossi got up from his chair to got look for that machine. 

“So you’re a karaoke girl?” Asked Emily, raising an eyebrow. 

“Big time” answered Reid before JJ could. 

“You never cease to surprise me”. 

Rossi came back with the machine. “I think it still works, and I have to mics”. 

JJ was excited “Let me start”. Everyone got up to follow her to the living room where Rossi installed the machine. JJ looked through the songs. “I found the perfect one! But I need someone to sing it with me”. 

Everyone stayed silent. 

“C’mon guys, it’s fun”

Still no one. 

“Emily you’re singing with me, you have to”

Emily rolled her eyes but agreed anyway. She took the other mic and looked at the song they were about to sing. “Really?”

“Look outside, it’s the perfect song.”

Emily chuckled while JJ started the song. They started singing the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Dean Martin. Their voices were really good together, it was actually really pleasing to hear. Everyone was smiling, the mood was great. 

“ _I simply must go_ ”

“ _But baby it’s cold outside_ ”

“ _The answer is no_ ”

“ _But baby it’s cold outside_ ”

“ _Your welcome has been_ ”

“ _How lucky that you dropped in_ ”

Both women waved, asking everyone to join them, they all started singing, it was a mess, but it was perfect. They all sang their hearts out. 

_“Baby it’s cold, baby it’s cold outside_ ”

The music stopped and everyone clapped, cheered and whistle. Emily and JJ bowed, proud of them. They had fun, to be fair, they always had fun when they were together, especially if a little alcohol was involved. At first JJ was shy near Emily, especially after what happened in September, but she started to open up to the brunette, about her problems, and they had become really close. 

“Guys, it’s almost midnight”

For a few minutes, they were all looking at the clock, ready to step into this new year. The hour hand of the clocked moved to midnight. It was officially 2020. Everyone hugged, Penelope and Derek kissed, they did that every year. Rossi kissed his wife, Aaron kiss his girlfriend Beth, Reid and Tara hugged. Only JJ and Emily were left, the thought of kissing crossed their minds, but both of them gave up on the idea. Instead JJ planted a kiss on Emily’s cheek. “Happy New Year Em”

“Happy new year JJ” They gave each other a tight hug, before hugging everyone else. 

JJ’s heart was beating faster than usual, it always happened when the brunette was close, even though they were just friend, and she was totally fine with that. 

“ _For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning_ ” - T.S. Eliot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today! i'll post chapter 7 on tuesday or wednesday, it depends on how much time i have to write a little (i have a few chapters already written but i want to be able to post regularly and not post all of the chapters i've already written and then make you wait 6 months for the rest hahaha). Anyways, i hope you liked that chapter, if you did leave a comment and kudos if you haven't already. 
> 
> See you soon and stay safe,
> 
> \- Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i'm back with chapter seven (i forgot to post it yesterday haha), i hope you'll like it!

_JANUARY_

“These two women were killed in less than a week, the unsub can’t control his urges, so he will most likely strike again today or tomorrow, we need to act fast” said Hotch, looking at the file he was holding. 

They were in the jet, on their way to a small town in Nevada where two housewives had been shot, the local police had asked for help, they had never dealt with something like that before and they were feeling pretty powerless. 

“Once we land, Reid and Morgan I want you to check out the last crime scene immediately and talk to the family there, try to find out what could have happened. Lewis and Rossi you’ll go talk the medical examiner to see if he found anything useful. And Emily and JJ you’ll come with me to the precinct.”

Everyone nodded. 

Hotch, Emily and JJ walked into the precinct and were immediately welcomed by the head detective. “Hi, I’m Holly Weston, I’m the detective in charge of the investigation”. 

She shook hands with JJ first “I’m Jennifer Jareau, we spoke on the phone”

“Emily Prentiss”

“Aaron Hotchner”

“So we have the husband and the sister of June Stewart, the last victim”

“JJ you’ll go talk to them” ordered Hotch. 

JJ followed his order and entered the room where a man and a woman were sitting, their faces marked with grief. When they heard her, they lifted their head, the man stood up and shook her hand “You must be June’s husband, I’m agent Jennifer Jareau, I’m from the FBI”

“I’m Joseph Stewart, and this is my sister in law, Elizabeth Collins” 

The woman didn’t stand up, so JJ just looked at her and gave her a warm and small smile as a way to say hello. They sat down, Joseph and Elizabeth were on the couch and JJ on a chair in front of them. 

“First of all, I want to start by saying that I’m truly sorry for your loss”

“thank you” said Elizabeth, drying her tears with a tissue JJ had just handed her. 

“If you don’t mind, I have a few question I would like to ask you?”

“Yes, yes of course” answered Joseph, straightening himself up. 

“When is the last time you saw June?”

“Last night, we went to bed, and when I woke up around 4am, she wasn’t there, but I wasn’t worried right away”

“Why is that?”

“She’d do that sometimes, go out in the middle of the night, she’s had severe insomnia since she was a teenager, and lately it became worse, she tried everything, homeopathic medicines, hypnose, acupuncture, but nothing worked. So every time she can’t sleep she goes out for a run, even if it’s the middle of the night. So when I woke up and didn’t see her in the bed, I just figured she was just running outside. But she didn’t come back this morning, and that’s when I called the police” said Joseph. 

“Okay, that’s very useful thank you, she did that every night?”

“Not every night, but at least two times a week, mostly on Tuesdays and Fridays” 

“Tuesdays and Fridays? Is there a specific reason?”

“I don’t really know, I never asked her that, she never really wanna talk about her insomnia, she kept saying it was ruining her life, she didn’t want it to ruin ours either, so we didn’t talk about it”

“I understand.” Answered JJ “Did something out of the ordinary happened in the past few days? Was she acting differently?”

“I don’t think so, I work a lot so I’m not usually at home, but she didn’t seem different, she was still an amazing mom, she was smiling, she seemed happy and…normal”

“What about you Elizabeth? Were you close?”

“We were, she’s my sister and my best friend, we see each other all the time, and we talk, but she never told me anything weird, she was just like always, warm and smiley, she was happy…” Elizabeth’s voice cracked again. 

“I have something really difficult to ask you, but your wife would leave the house every week during the night, and you work a lot, and she was found dead. In a lot of cases, the victims were having an affair, and the boyfriend would kill them when they’d refuse to leave their spouses. Is there any possibility she was seeing someone else?”

Joseph’s face crumbled, and Elizabeth gasped. “Absolutely not, she would have told me, I promise she wasn’t having an affair, she was deeply in love and happy with you Joe, she would talk about you and how great you were all the time” Elizabeth was facing Joseph, reassuring him. 

“Thank you, I just needed to know, so that we can explore all of the possibilities”

“Just promise me you’ll catch that son of a bitch that killed my wife, that destroyed my life and my kids”

“I promise you we have all of our best agents looking for this unsub, we’ll do everything we can to arrest them.”

“Thank you agent”. 

JJ looked behind Joseph and Elizabeth, she spotted Emily talking to the detective, they were standing really close, and at some point the detective bursted out laughing, putting a hand on Emily’s arms. It wasn’t really appropriate, someone was dead and that detective was laughing? JJ pursed her lips, her whole body was tensed. All she wanted was to go over there and remind whatever-her-name-is that she was working right now, and that she should focus more on the investigation than on the agent’s clivage. But she didn’t, it wasn’t her business, and she had to give all of these informations the family had given her to Hotch. She looked away from the detective and stood up, thanking Joseph and Elizabeth for their time, and giving her condolences once again. 

She left the room and looked at Emily, she was writing on the white board, the detective was gone. 

“I’ve got some infos about June Stewart” said JJ as she gave her her notebook. 

Emily frowned, JJ’s tone was colder than usual and her eyes were piercing. “thank you?” She took the notebook carefully, confused. As soon as she did, JJ walked away. Emily found it weird, but she didn’t have time to think about that right now. 

The next morning, the team was around a table next to the white board, gathering all of the infos they had about the victims and the murders to be able to give a profile. Garcia was on their screens. 

“The only thing I saw that could link our victims is that they were all prescribed Vicodin at some point in their lives. Grace got a prescription two years ago after a car accident, Tina got one last year after she broke her right leg, and June got one five years ago after a minor surgery. All of their prescription expired at some point”

“Vicodin is highly addictive, and when you don’t have a prescription you turn to a drug dealer, and unfortunately, there are a lot of drug dealer for pills like that for housewives and they are way harder to find” said Rossi

“Are we ready to give a profile?” Asked Hotch

Everyone agreed. 

JJ was the one that talked to the police officers gathered in the main hall 

“We’re looking for a caucasian male, he’s tall, probably from the suburb, he’s most likely married with kids, he drives a minivan, and has easy access to medication, he’s good looking, it’s easy for him to make his victims trust him”

When she was finished JJ turned around, she needed to talk to Emily. She looked for her and found her near the entrance. 

“Hey, Em?”

Emily didn’t turn around, she was talking to someone. And of course, that someone was Holly Weston, she wasn’t surprised. She clenched her fists. Emily finally turned around, realizing someone had tried to talk to her. But all she saw was JJ walking away. She tried to call her but the younger woman didn’t pay attention and left. 

The team apprehended the unsub less than a few hours after giving the profile. It was a pharmacist, it was easy for him to spot the people that might become his clients, he just had to look at the expiration date on the prescriptions. He had an easy access to pills, he was married and had two daughters. He fit the profile perfectly. 

Emily and Morgan were in charge of the interrogation, JJ was watching them behind the two way mirror. After a few minutes someone joined her. She turned her head and saw Holly, of course it was her. She gave her a small smile before turning her attention back to the interrogation. 

“She’s great, isn’t she?” 

JJ didn’t look at her and rolled her eyes “yes she is”

“It must be great working with her, she’s really nice and talented, I guess we can say she’s the whole package, huh?” Holly chuckled like a teenager. 

“I guess we can” It was hard for JJ to hide her irritation. All she wanted was for the detective to leave the room and just never come back. She couldn’t stand her. 

But the woman stayed, and looked at Emily for the whole interrogation. Fortunately for JJ it only took half an hour, the unsub ended up confessing everything, the murders and the drug dealing. He even gave a list of all his clients.

The case was closed, their job was done. It was time for them to go back to the jet. 

“I just want to thank you all so much for your help, thanks to you our community is safer, and the families can have closure. I know a lot of police officers don’t really like the FBI, but I can promise you that your work is greatly appreciated here. So thank you, from all of us.” Said Holly as they were leaving. 

She shook everyone’s hand except for Emily “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked to the brunette. Emily followed her on the other side of the room for a little bit more privacy. 

JJ couldn’t stop looking at them. They were both giggling, and Holly gave a piece of paper to Emily before hugging her a little more longer than she should have. “It’s so unprofessional, can you believe it? Look at her, she’s totally hitting on Emily on her workplace, it’s so inappropriate” whispered JJ to Spencer who was standing next to her. 

“JJ? How did you meet Will already?” 

“I- that’s totally different okay?” JJ rolled her eyes and joined the rest of the team outside. 

If you grab a dictionary and look for the definition of the word jealousy, it will tell you that it is “ _A sentiment which is born in love and which is produced by the fear that the loved person prefers someone else_ ” (Littré). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for today! I love jealous JJ tbh. If you liked it please leave some kudos/comments. I'll post chapter 8 on saturday (and i promise i won't forget). 
> 
> Stay safe and have a great day!
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm late...again. But here's chapter 8, it's a little short but it's cute i promise. Enjoy!

In his oeuvre named _The Odyssey_ , Homer wrote “ _There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep_ ”. 

Everyone was quiet on the flight back. It was late, and everyone was tired. JJ was sitting next to the window with a blanket on her legs. She was trying to read the book she was holding but it was hard, her eyes were closing, she was struggling not to fall asleep, she hated sleeping in front of other people. So she tried to concentrate on the book, but she words didn’t make sense. She felt almost nauseous, she hated that. 

Emily was on the back of the jet making some tea. She looked around, Hotch was still working, he never stopped. Rossi and Reid were sleeping, Morgan was listening to music, Tara was watching something on her phone, and JJ was apparently trying to read. She could see her face scrunch as she was trying to see what was written on the book, she was definitely fighting to not fall asleep, it was kind of cute. She had no idea why JJ had been acting weird these past few days, but she didn’t like it, she wanted her friend back. 

Her tea was finally ready, she grabbed her cup and walked up to JJ “hey, can I sit?” She asked, pointing at the empty seat next to her. 

JJ straighten herself and answer “yes sure”. Emily sat down and looked at JJ, still trying to read even though she hadn’t turned the page she was reading in the last twenty minutes. 

“Still stuck with this Madame Bovary I see?”

The blonde woman turned her head and smiled “Yeah, she’s a really complicated woman, but I like her”

“It’s been like what, five months? This relationship is becoming serious huh? Are you thinking of moving in together?”

“We already did actually, she sleeps next to me every night”

“Oh wow, that’s a big step in a relationship”

“It is”

Both women started chuckling.

“But for real, why are you still reading this book after five months?”

“It’s hard okay?” JJ was trying not to laugh “I never read when Henry is with me, I don’t have the time, and when I don’t have him I’m just tired or I have to work, so it really reduces my opportunities to read that…”

“…and?”

“…and Penelope got me into Parks and Recreation and I just can’t stop watching that show it’s so good”

“That’s what I thought” said Emily, patting JJ’s leg. 

JJ yawned, she really was exhausted. “You should try and get some sleep JJ”

“I don’t like sleeping on planes, I’ll just rest when we get home”

“We still have three hours ahead of us, sleep a little, your body will thank you, trust me”

JJ pouted, she actually really wanted to sleep, and it wasn’t a big deal if people saw her sleep, it’s not like if she talked in her sleep or something. 

Emily had a serious look on her face, JJ knew that she wasn’t gonna take no for an answer, and that she should just give in already. She tried to find a comfortable position to sleep but it was hard. She ended up resting her head on Emily’s shoulder. 

The second JJ’s head touched Emily’s shoulder, the brunette felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest, she wasn’t expecting this at all. 

She had seen how exhausted JJ was, so there was no way she’d wake her up, even if it means staying still for the next three hours. Which she did. She didn’t sleep, she just looked at the younger woman, she was peaceful, her breathing was steady, her hair was tickling Emily’s arm. She could smell a mix of her perfume and her shampoo. At that exact moment, all she could think about was the perfection of the woman sleeping on her shoulder. She was perfect. She had never seen her vulnerable like that. 

Maybe she wasn’t over JJ, maybe she still had feelings, even if she didn’t want to. All she wanted was to protect this vulnerable woman from any form of suffering she might go through.

A few times, she could see JJ’s face move a little, probably because she was dreaming, and it was probably one of the cutest thing Emily had ever witnessed. She was still staying still, too scared of waking her up. 

The jet started changing direction, which meant they were about to land. Even the bumpy landing, JJ didn’t wake up, which amazed Emily, how could she sleep through that? 

“JJ, JJ wake up we’re here”

JJ groaned in the cutest way, she didn’t want to open her eyes. She started putting her arms around Emily’s waist, which made the brunette’s heart skip a beat. The young woman suddenly opened her eyes and moved away from Emily. “Oh my god Em I’m so sorry I don’t know what happened, I-“

Emily chuckled, seeing the panic in JJ’s eyes “It’s okay JJ, we landed, we have to go”

“Oh, right, okay”

They both go up. 

“Did you sleep well?”

“Actually yes, and trust me it’s a miracle that it happened with people around, I guess your shoulder is quite comfortable”

Emily was the last one on the jet, as she was about to climb down the stairs, she reached something in her pocket. She realized it was the paper Holly gave her, with her number on it. 

“Emily? You’re coming?” JJ turned around with the brightest smile.

Without even a hesitation, Emily scrunched the piece of paper and threw it away before getting out of the plane. She walked up to the younger woman who wrapped one arm around her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for today! this chapter is a little short, sorry (and the next one is too), i'll post chapter 9 on tuesday (and this time i won't be late). 
> 
> If you liked it, please leave some comments/kudos :)
> 
> Stay safe and have a great day, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay istg i'm the worst when it comes to posting things on time. But here i am with chapter 9, i hope you'll like it!

It was eight in the morning when JJ came out of the elevator. She had spent the weekend with Henry, she loved these small moments she could spend with her son. Her work was hard, and she missed him all the time, so when she was lucky enough to be home with him, she enjoyed every single minute. But at night, when Henry was asleep, she couldn’t help but think about Emily. She hated that. She knew she had feeling, she had tried to ignore it, but it was becoming harder and harder everyday. Every time she saw Emily she panicked, her cheek turned red, she was like a teenager, and she hated being like that more than anything. 

She went to her office to put her stuff before going to get some coffee as usual. As she was waiting for the brown liquid to be hot, she looked around, unconsciously looking for the brunette, but she was nowhere to be found. She took her cup, and that’s when she saw her, she was walking up to her. Once again, she could feel her cheeks turn red, so she turned around, and almost ran into her office to avoid rambling in front of the other woman. She closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. She wouldn’t be able to do that for the rest of her time here, it was nonsense. But it was the only way right now to avoid making a fool of herself and reveal to everyone her feelings for her coworker. 

It didn’t matter, she had a lot of work to do today, she was probably not gonna have to talk to her. They didn’t have a case yet, it was up to her to find one. She looked at the enormous pile of files on her office, she was definitely gonna have to stay late today. She had to get to work immediately. She sat down at her desk, and it’s when she noticed that before running from Emily she had forgotten to pour the coffee in her cup. So there she was, at her desk with a huge amount of work, and an empty cup of what should have been hot coffee. She couldn’t go back because it meant walking past Emily’s desk, she was gonna have to do without. 

An hour after she started working, she could feel she really _really_ had to pee. There was no way she was gonna be able to hold on all morning, she needed to go to the bathroom. She got out of her office, she looked at Emily’s desk right away and saw that she wasn’t there. She seized the opportunity and walked to the bathroom down the hall. She entered the first bathroom stall and was finally relieved. She flushed the toilet and went to wash her hands. As she was almost done, a door opened behind her and she locked eyes with the person that had come in. Emily. Of course. 

“Hey JJ” she said, smiling “what’s up?”

Her cheeks immediately turned bright red “come on JJ say something, anything, just open your mouth and talk” said JJ to herself, panicking. “just say hi, you were perfectly capable of doing so last Friday before you had to overthink everything and make everything weird. Come on Jennifer. Do it.”

“Hey Em” she said softly, trying to stay calm.

Emily smiled at her and stood next to her to wash her hands. Their arms brushed, which made JJ blush even more. She took a step back, took a piece of paper to dry her hands and quickly left the room without looking back, leaving Emily alone and confused. What had just happened? JJ had been acting weird ever since the end of the last case. She was avoiding her, she didn’t text her back during the weekend, she didn’t say hi when she came in to work, she couldn’t even look at her in the eyes. She was confused. Maybe she knew? Maybe she knew Emily still had feelings for her? And she didn’t, and that was why she was avoiding her? 

Emily really thought she had been discreet about her feelings for her, she didn’t want anyone, including JJ to figure out what was happening inside of her head. The younger woman had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t date coworkers, and she understood. Dating someone you work with is messy, and even more so in this kind of job. But JJ must had figured it out, and now she didn’t even want to be her friend. Emily leaned on the sink for a second, looking at herself, blaming herself, she shouldn’t be feeling those feelings, it had been more than four months since their kiss, she was supposed to move on once and for all. She wanted her friend back. 

She came back to her desk, and looked for JJ. Her office door was closed, and she was probably inside. She hesitated for a second, maybe she should go talk to her? Explain herself? Tell her that she was going to move on and that it didn’t need to be awkward? But she had to consider the fact that maybe JJ didn’t know and that she was just busy with work, she was obviously tired, and a mix of that can make you act that way. 

She finally decided to just go back to work and left JJ alone. It was best for the both of them. JJ had moved on, it was her turn. 

French poet Alphonse de Lamartine wrote in a poem “ _Il est un nom caché dans l'ombre de mon âme, que j’y lis nuit et jour et qu’aucun oeil n’y voit_ ” or “ _There is a name hidden in the shadow of my soul, where I read it night and day and no other eye sees it_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today! i know it's kinda short though, but the next chapters are longer! The things are finally gonna change for our JJ and Emily, stick around to know if these are good or bad changes ;)   
> I'll try to post chapter 10 on friday, but i'm not promising anything because i suck at keeping these kinds of promises haha.   
> If you liked that chapter please leave a comment!
> 
> Stay safe
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i'm back with chapter 10! I hope you'll like it, enjoy

_FEBRUARY_

Emily was working late at the office again, she was the only one left, except for Hotch who was still locked up in his office, she was starting to believe he might actually sleep there. 

Her phone rang, making her jump. She looked at her screen and read the name “Heather”. She didn’t except her to call, especially not now. 

She hesitated but decided to pick up “Heather?”

A woman with a British accent answered “Hey Millie, I was wondering, are you free tonight?”

Emily was confused “I- I don’t know? Why? Aren’t you still in London?”

“I’m in DC for three days, and I’m bored, I don’t know anyone here except for you so I thought maybe we could go out for a drink? Unless you already have plans of course”

Emily stayed silent for a few second, weighting the pros and cons of going out with her ex she hadn’t seen in months. “Fuck it” she whispered

“What?” 

“I’ll come, where do you want to go?”

“Honestly anywhere, as long as there’s alcohol”

“There’s a nice small bar near my apartment, we can go there if you want” 

“Yes sure, text me the address”

“I can be there in twenty minutes, I just need to finish something at the office”

“Perfect, I’ll see you there then”

“I’ll see you there”. 

Emily finished what she was doing, and left for the bar. 

When she entered the bar, she spotted a brunette sitting alone at the bar, with two drinks next to her, she smiled at her. Emily walked up to her. 

“Hey Heather”

“Hey Millie”

The two women hugged before sitting down. “Oh, I ordered the first drinks, I hope you don’t mind”

“Absolutely not” They each took a glass and cheered to it before drinking what it contained. 

“So, Millie, what’s up? How’s DC treating you?” The other woman asked. Heather was the only person on earth calling her Millie. At first it made her uncomfortable, but then she got used to it, it was Heather’s thing, it was between them. She kinda liked it. 

“It pretty great actually, but I can’t believe I left London for a city on the other side of the world that basically has the same weather”

“Yeah, that’s pretty disappointing” Heather chuckled. “And the BAU, how is it?”

“It’s really great, I love working there, and the team is honestly awesome, it’s so much better than Interpol, it’s like a big family, it’s not just coworkers, and I really like that aspect”

“Wait what? You? Socializing with people? Where’s the Millie I know? You know the cold one that doesn’t open up to anyone and that ‘doesn’t need any friends because she’s _so independent_ ’”

Emily started laughing “I guess DC kinda changed me”

“I’m glad it did, you seem happier, I like seeing you like that”

Emily looked down at her glass, smiling “Thank you, I’m glad too. And what about you? How’s London?”

“It’s really great too, I actually have an art show in Paris next month, apparently some art critic really liked “Nerve”, you know the series of painting I made a few years ago, I had totally forgot about them, but he’s opening a new museum and he wants the first ephemeral exhibition to be mine.”

“Holy crap Heather this is awesome!” Emily was genuinely excited for her “See? I always told you these paintings were special and really good, and now it’s official”

“Honestly I’m having trouble realizing this is actually happening”

“And what brings you in DC?”

“Oh, this? There’s some artist that wanted to meet me, we might start a show together, our styles of painting are completely different, and it might be a really good mix, even if it’s a big risk to take, I think it’s worth it”

“I’m sure it’s gonna be great, you’re a really talented artist, and you’re finally gonna get credit for it, this is incredible”

“Thanks Millie, it means a lot”

“Anytime”. 

In just an hour, they had already drank five or six glasses, and their level of drunkness was starting to show. 

“And how is Claire?” Asked Heather. 

Emily’s jaw clenched at the mention of her other ex. “Yeah…we’re not together anymore, I’m single for the first time in five years”

Heather already knew that, and Emily knew Heather knew. She just needed to hear her say officially that her and Claire were over, and that Emily was single. 

Emily and Heather had been together for two years ten years ago, when Emily had just started working at Interpol and Heather was a struggling artist. They were an odd match, but they worked well together, but their two jobs were too different, their lifestyles were too different, it couldn’t work on the long haul, so they broke up. But they stayed close, they never really lost the bond they shared. 

Both women knew what was about to happen. Emily cleared her throat and asked her “You know what, my apartment is nearby, and apparently there the alcohol is free, what do you say?”

“I definitely accept the offer” said Heather with a wink. 

Meanwhile, JJ was alone at her apartment, Henry was with sleeping at his best friend’s house for the first time. And as usual, her mind started wandering, and it always came back to the beautiful woman that was Emily, her smile, her eyes, her voice, everything about her was just incredible. A month had went by since she had realized she had feelings for the brunette. The awkward phase had past, and she was now able to actually talk to Emily without embarrassing herself. She had tried to pushed down her feelings once again, but this time it didn’t work, she always had in the back of her mind the fact that it was possible Emily might feel the same. But also she was the one that pushed her away because of her stupid rule of not-dating-other-cops. Her head was a mess, she didn’t know what to do. 

She was sprawled on her couch, wearing sweatpants and her hair was in a pony tail. She was watching Grey’s Anatomy and eating salt and vinegar chips. Then suddenly she couldn’t breathe, her throat hurt. She was chocking. She got up, trying to breathe but she couldn’t, she started banging on her chest, hoping it would do something. After a few seconds, she managed to cough up the small chips that had been stuck inside her throat. It took her a few minutes to calm down and breathe normally. She was still feeling terrified, and she started thinking about the fact that she was alone, no one had been there to help her, and no one was here to calm her down and make her feel better. She hadn’t felt like that in a long time, for four years she had been dedicating her whole life to her son. She never felt alone with him, she always had to take care of him. But now that Henry was growing up and soon he would become independent, he wouldn’t need her as much as he used to. Maybe it was time for her to think about herself. 

By the time she was calm again, the episode she was watching was over. It was already really late, she decided to take a shower before going to bed. 

The water was running down her face, her eyes were closed, she was trying to empty her mind, her head was starting to hurt and all she wanted was to get a good night of sleep. But all she could see was Emily, she couldn’t get her out of her mind. But no matter how much she wanted to, Emily was still here. Tears were now rolling down her cheeks, why couldn’t she have feelings for her nice neighbor? Or even for Will? Why did she have to fall for Emily? 

But suddenly, JJ made a decision. She got out of the shower in a hurry, put on some clothes and left her house. She got into her car and started driving. She couldn’t control herself, she was about to do something she had never done in her life, something rash, spontaneous, the exact opposite of what she usually does. She never takes risks outside of work, she always chose the easy way, because it meant she wouldn’t get hurt. 

She parked in front of a building, Emily’s building. Fortunately, someone was getting in the building so she managed to sneak in before the door closed. She had come there once or twice, Emily was living on the third floor and the elevator had been broken for months now. She climbed the stairs, trying to think about what she was going to say when the brunette would open the door, but her mind was blank, she assumed it would just come naturally when she would face her. 

She arrived at the door, took a deep breath and knocked three times. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay i really hope you liked it, i can't wait for you to see what happens next :) if you liked it please leave some comments, it's awesome to know people actually like what i write (still seems crazy to me hahaha)  
> I'll try to post next chapter on Monday. 
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey i'm back with chapter 11! I hope you'll like it :)

Emily was in the shower when someone knocked at her door. She looked at the time, it was past midnight, she had no idea of who it could be. She asked “Heather, could you get it?”

“Yeah sure”, answered the other woman, already on her way to the door. She was only wearing one of Emily’s shirt and her panties. She looked through the peephole, it was a young blond-haired woman, holding on tightly to her purse, she seemed harmless so she opened the door. 

“Hi, who are you?” She asked right away. 

The young woman opened her mouth but no words came out. Heather looked at her confused “Are you okay ma’am?”

Still nothing, she started wondering if the woman wasn’t having a seizure or a heart attack. But after a few seconds, the woman started babbling and was finally able to say “Hum I think I got the wrong floor I’m sorry”. 

“Who is it?” Yelled Emily, still in the bathroom. 

Heather yelled back “No one, someone got the wrong floor”. She turned to the woman on the doorstep “It’s okay, have a lovely night”, she said with her beautiful British accent. The woman smiled back and left in a hurry. 

Heather closed the door and went back to Emily’s room. The brunette was waiting for her on the bed, smiling. “Come here”. Heather turned off the lights before jumping on the bed to snuggle up in the arms of the brunette. They were both really tired, so they just stayed like that. 

“So that was awesome” whispered Heather. 

“It was” Emily chuckled softly, playing with Heather’s hair. 

The British woman raised her head to look at Emily “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“Is it too much if I ask you to be my date for my show opening in Paris?”

Emily smiled at her “You know my answer is gonna be no Hay”

Heather shrugged “I had to give it a try”

“This?” Said Emily making a back and forth movement with her finger between them “This is great, I mean the sex is awesome, and we get along well, but you know how toxic we are together, we’re not doing that again”

“I know, I don’t want to, but it still would have been nice to have my friend with benefits by my arm in Paris”

“I know, it’s tempting, but I’m staying in DC, my life is here now”

“Your life?” Asked Heather, air quoting the word life. 

“Don’t start”

“Oh my gosh you have a crush!” 

“Maybe? But she made it perfectly clear that nothing would happen between us”

“C’mon, no one can resist your charm”

“Well apparently she can” Emily chuckled, but couldn’t help to show how disappointed she was. 

Heather smiled at her with a sympathetic look “I’m sorry”. 

“It’s okay”

“You know, I’m sure things will work out for you, it always does, and you deserve to be happy for real, especially after what Claire did to you. And by the way, my offer to beat her up is still on the table just so you know”

“It’s okay, I don’t care about her anymore…”

Heather raised an eyebrow, she knew the brunette too well to believe that Emily Prentiss didn’t hold a grudge against the person that had cheated on her and basically humiliated her. 

“…Okay I heard her assistant cheated on her a few months after and then left her”

“See? Things always work out, it’s called karma”

Both women started laughing. 

\- _10 minutes earlier -_

The door opened but it wasn’t the person she expected to see. It was a woman, much taller than her, and she was wearing Emily’s shirt. She knew that because it was the one she had bought her for Christmas. The woman asked her something, but her brain wasn’t able to process what was happening. All she knew was that the gorgeous woman in front of her was wearing Emily’s shirt, she had a gorgeous British accent, and she was in Emily’s apartment and wasn’t wearing any pants. 

She thought she was going to faint, she finally managed to say that she was on the wrong floor. Then she heard her, Emily’s voice, coming from the other side of the apartment, and her heart dropped. She left immediately, almost tripped in the staircase but she didn’t care, she just had to leave and go as far away as possible. 

She ran outside, she couldn’t think clearly, tears were running down her cheeks, she had trouble breathing, her legs almost gave up and she ended up sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. She was trying to calm down but she couldn’t. Her heart was broken, she could physically feel it, it hurt. She felt humiliated, mad at herself for believing for a second that Emily would have waited for her all these months even though she had told her they’d never date because she had this stupid rule. How could she have been so stupid? Emily had moved on, and she should have too. She had to face the fact that it would never happen, it wasn’t the right time, and it would probably never be. No matter how much she wanted Emily, she couldn’t have her, she had to accept that. 

She kept wiping her tears but new ones kept coming. She regretted leaving her house in a hurry without taking her coat, she was freezing. But she wasn’t ready to go back in her car yet, she had to calm down before driving or she was definitely gonna get in an accident. 

After maybe ten minutes, her breathing started slowing down, she was starting to breathe normally again. She took her phone out of her pocket and dialled a number. It rang twice and the person picked up. 

“Agent Jareau? Is everything okay?” Asked the woman. 

“Yes yes ma’am, I’m sorry for calling you so late, it’s just to ask you if we could maybe talk in your office on Monday morning?”

“Don’t worry, I don’t sleep much. Does that mean you’ve made a decision?” 

“I did”

“Okay, come into my office first thing Monday morning”

“Thank you chief Strauss”

“Goodnight agent Jareau”

“Goodnight”. 

JJ hang up, she had her stone face again, like if nothing had happened. 

“ _Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth can’t explain how broken your heart is_ ” - unknown. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay please don't hate me, i swear things are gonna work out eventually hahaha. If you "liked" it, or if you're excited to know what's gonna happen next please leave a comment. I'll post chapter 12 on Wednesday (if i don't forget like i usually do haha). 
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> \- Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm back with chapter 12, i hope you'll like it :) 
> 
> (btw i love your comments about last chapter hahaha)
> 
> Enjoy!

On Monday morning, Emily came to work with two cups of Starbucks coffee in each hand. She had texted JJ to ask if she wanted coffee but didn’t get an answer so she assumed she would definitely need one. She didn’t really like buying coffee from big companies, she’d rather support small businesses but Starbucks was the only coffee shop on her way to work, and she was more than late so she didn’t have the time to stop anywhere else. Of course she had texted Morgan to ask him to cover for her, and he said it was okay, they didn’t have a new case yet. 

So she stepped out of the elevator, with her two cups of coffee. She entered the main hall. Morgan, Garcia and Reid were whispering, glancing at Hotch’s office. Emily put down her two cups and her purse, while looking around to find JJ. Her office door was opened, she tried to look inside, standing on tiptoes, but no one seemed to be inside. She joined her coworkers. 

“Hey guys, JJ isn’t here yet?” 

They all shrugged. “Nope, it’s weird” said Penelope “I tried to call and text her but she didn’t respond, maybe Henry’s sick? Or she is? Or maybe she’s just stuck in trafic”. 

Derek was still looking at Hotch’s office. His door was close as usual. Emily looked at it too, and notice he was talking to someone, a young woman. 

“Who’s that?” She asked

Once again, the three of them shrugged. Tara joined them “I heard them when they came into his office, apparently she might be a new member of our team? But maybe I misunderstood”

“I thought we weren’t looking for someone new?” Said Spencer, confused. 

None of them knew what was happening. Emily took her phone, trying to reach JJ again. 

“ _hey love, where are you?_ ” 

All of them stood up when they saw Hotch’s office door open and Hotch coming out, followed by the woman he was talking to. 

“Conference room, now”

They all followed him, Emily’s phone rang and saw she had a text from JJ “ _I won’t come in to work today, sorry_ ”. It was odd, she showed her phone to Garcia, who just shrugged, she was just as confused as the brunette. 

They all sat down at the table. Hotch was standing up and the woman was standing next to him. 

“I’ve got bad news.” His voice was calm but deeper than usual, his face didn’t how any emotion, and the woman beside him seemed embarrassed. 

“What’s going on Hotch?” Asked Derek

“There’s no good way of putting it, JJ quit her job.”

Garcia gasped, putting her hand in front of her opened mouth, Morgan and Spencer’s jaws dropped, Tara was shocked. Rossi didn’t say anything, he seemed to know already. 

Emily didn’t say anything, and tried to not show any emotion. But she felt her heart break in a million pieces, just like when you wake up from an amazing dream and fall back into reality. It hit her hard, she didn’t know what to think, it was not something she expected from JJ. 

“When?” Asked Tara

“She came to see me this morning with her letter of resignation. I talked to Strauss about it, and she explained that she recruited her for a job at the state’s department.”

“But why?” Asked Garcia, she looked like she was about to cry. 

“Honestly I have no idea, but unfortunately, we don’t have time to dwell, we have a new case already, and there’s someone I’d like to introduce you to”

Hotch looked at the woman. 

“Hey guys, I’m sorry for the timing, I wish I wasn’t taking the job of someone who seemed really great. But my name is Jordan Todd, and I’ll be filling in for the communications liaison temporarily. I used to work at the Counter-Terrorism Division”

Everyone greeted her. They were all sadden about JJ’s departure but it didn’t mean they were going to take it out on Jordan, she had nothing to do with it and seemed like a good person. 

“Agent Todd, can you tell us about the new case?” Asked Hotch. 

“Yes, of course” Jordan took the remote on the table to turn on the screen behind her. Four pictures of men appared on the screen. “Four mens in their thirties were found dead last week, every victim was missing a limb.”

She gave the team all of the details the local police had sent her. At the end of her presentation, Hotch said his usual “Wheels up in thirty”. 

They had a five hours flight to Los Angeles where the bodies were found. After talking about the case, Emily isolated herself, she tried to concentrate on the file she was reading, but the words didn’t make any sense, she kept reading the same sentence over and over, which pissed her off and she slammed it against the table. Spencer noticed the brunette wasn’t in her normal state, so he walked up to her and sat down in the seat in front of her. 

“Are you okay?”

“Not really, I don’t understand”

“JJ?”

“Yup” Emily smiled at him sarcastically like she always did when she was upset and was trying not to show it. The doctor was starting to know Emily’s coping mechanism. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t understand why she left like that, without even saying goodbye”

“I don’t understand either to be honest, she’s not usually like that, I have a feeling something might have happened, but I don’t know what”

“She seemed fine on Friday, and now she just disappeared? It doesn’t make sense!”

“I know, I hate it too… Maybe she didn’t have time to say goodbye this morning, but once this case is over she’ll probably come and visit us? And no matter what she’s our friend and she’s still in DC, it’s not like we completely lost her”

“The team is not gonna be the same without her”

“Yeah, that’s for sure, but we’ll be fine, and she will too”. Spencer got up and pat Emily’s shoulder as a sign of compassion. 

She closed her eyes for a minute, slowing down her breath, drying the single tear rolling on her cheek. She then opened her eyes, reached for the file and started reading again, and this time the words made sense. 

“ _There is a thing with goodbyes. The ones who should say it, never say it. They just leave._ ” - Saru Singhal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for today! if you didn't notice, i loooove drama, but i also love happy endings don't worry haha.   
> For the next chapter, i'm gonna try to post it on saturday, but i have no idea if i'll be able to because i'm going away for the weekend to celebrate my birthday with my friends (yes i'm casually slipping in the fact that my birthday is next sunday). Anyways, i'll probably have a little time to post the chapter but i can't promise anything.   
> If you liked it please leave some comments! 
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy i'm back with chapter 13, i hope you'll like it :)

_MARCH_

Emily looked at her watch, it was 9pm, she was late. She had had trouble finding the right outfit, even though it was “just” girl’s night, she wanted to look good, just in case. 

She climbed the stairs to get to Penelope’s apartment and knocked at her door. She could hear her friends laugh when Penelope opened the door. 

“Emily!! Girls Emily’s here!”

“I’m so sorry I’m late”

“Who cares? You’re here and that’s awesome!! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

Emily laughed at the exaggerated enthusiasm of Penelope as she hugged her tight while trying not to spill her drink. She had a wide smile, the kind that’s infectious. Emily smiled back and entered the apartment. Jordan and Tara were sitting on the floor around Penelope’s coffee table. They all had drinks and were looking at something on Jordan’s phone. They both waved at Emily.

“Here, let me take your stuff” said Garcia after putting down her glass. Emily gave her her purse and coat then joined the girls around the table. The tech analyst came back and handed Emily a beer “I’m pretty sure you need this”. 

“Oh my gosh yes thanks Garcia”. Emily took the bottle immediately. 

They were all around the table when Tara asked “Is JJ coming?”

“No, I don’t think so, I texted her but she didn’t text me back” said Garcia “She must be busy with her new job, but it’s okay, we’re gonna have fun anyway because we all deserve a break from work”

Everyone cheered to that. Penelope had made pizzas and cake, on Emily’s opinion, Penelope was the best party host, but she’d never admit it to Rossi, or to Penelope because she would never stay quiet about it. 

“Oh my gosh I know what we should do” said Jordan. She was the youngest, she was just out of college so she knew every party game possible. “You all know how to play never have I ever?”

Tara and Penelope nodded, but Emily looked at her, confused. 

“It’s okay, I’ll explain while we play” said Jordan with a wide smile. 

“In my defence I never really partied in college”

Penelope faked-gasped “I did NOT expect you to say this, you seemed so much like a party girl”

They all laughed. 

“Okay so everyone take a beer, because trust me if we use shots, we’re all gonna be in the hospital with a stomach pumped, and it’s not really pleasant”

The three women obeyed, when they all had a beer in their hands, Jordan explained the rules “I’m gonna say something, and if you ever did that think, you have to drink”

“Really? Just that?”

“Yeah it’s a pretty simple game, I can’t believe you’ve never played, it’s the most popular game in high school”

“Considering I’ve never stayed in the same high school for more than two months I’ve never had that kind of experience”

“Oh, I didn’t know”

“The perks of having a diplomat mom…Okay let’s play”

“I’ll start” said Jordan “We’re gonna start easy. Never have I ever cheated on someone”

Only Tara drank “I’m definitely not proud of that though”

They all shrugged “It’s okay, we all make mistakes” said Jordan “Okay your turn Tara”

“Never have I ever had sex in a public place”

They all drank immediately and laughed. “It’s not really easy, but the fact that we can get caught at any given moment makes the sex a thousand times better” said Penelope, raising her beer. 

“I’ll drink to that” Emily chuckled. They all raised their bottles and took another sip. “My turn, never have I ever had a crush on a teacher”

Emily and Penelope drank. “My math teacher, senior year of high school, I only stayed one month but I was obsessed, she was so hot and nice to me, and for a baby lesbian, it’s all you need to fall in love”. 

Emily turned to Penelope, waiting for an explanation. “My Spanish teacher, he was young and cute and I had the biggest crush on him for my whole time in high school. Now let’s get dirty. Never have I ever faked an orgasm”

Tara, Penelope and Jordan drank, and Emily laughed “Being straight must be the worst”. 

“Never have I ever had sex with a woman”

Tara, Penelope and Emily drank. The brunette looked at her friends, raising an eyebrow. 

“Being straight is definitely the worst, that’s why I’m bisexual” said Penelope, taking another sip of her drink. 

“And that’s why I don’t really define my sexuality” said Tara, also taking another sip. “Now me. Never have I ever…fell in love with a coworker”

Emily tried to not choke on her drink when she heard Tara. Penelope, Jordan and the brunette drank to that. 

“Kevin” said Penelope. 

“The guy I worked with when I was a waitress at olive garden” said Jordan. 

Emily stayed silent, not knowing what to say, it didn’t take long for her whole face to turn red. She panicked, she was a terrible liar when it came to her love life. 

“C’mon Emily, who was it?”

She still didn’t say anything, but Penelope did “Oh my gosh how did I not think of that!!”. 

Emily’s heart stopped. 

“Claire worked at Interpol with you, right?”

“YES” Emily shouted, relieved. How did she not think of that?

Tara looked at her watch “Wow, it’s getting late, I’m gonna have to go Garcia, I’m sorry”

“Oh no it’s okay don’t worry!” She answered. 

“Yeah, me too, I have to wake up early tomorrow…oh well, today I guess” Jordan laughed “wanna share a cab Tara?”

“Yes sure!”

They called a cab, and fortunately it was only five minutes away. 

The two women grabbed their purses and coats and said goodbye to their friends. “Get home safely!”. 

Penelope closed the door, not wanting to let the cold air in. “Aren’t you leaving?” She asked Emily. 

“No way, I’m not letting you clean up all of this on your own”

“It’s no bother don’t worry, I can do this alone, you look exhausted you need some sleep” 

“You’re not getting rid of me so easily” she said as she grabbed the dirty plates to bring them to the kitchen. 

“Well, if you really want to…I don’t mind”

Emily chuckled as she went to the kitchen. It only took them ten minutes to clean everything. When all of the dishes was cleaned and all of the bottles were in the trash, Penelope sat down on her couch, while Emily was busy looking at the photo frames on the wall. She had stopped in front of a specific picture. It was Penelope holding baby Henry in her arms next to JJ. She was laughing in the picture, she seemed so happy and just gorgeous. 

“I miss her too” said Penelope. 

Emily turned around and sat down next to Penelope. “She totally ghosted me”. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, she answers my texts like once a week, and the only time I saw her was at the bank, we ran into each other but she we greeted each other and she left because she was in a hurry, that’s it”

“I thought you guys were good friends?”

“Yeah…I thought so too”

“I’m sorry”

“Did you see her?”

“Yeah, a few times, I babysat Henry and we went to lunch together once a week. I think she’s busy with work and Henry, Will has been out of town these past two weeks so Henry is always with her. I’m sure she’s not ignoring you on purpose, she cares about you too much”. 

“To be honest, I’m really mad at her, and I’m really confused. Like…why didn’t she say goodbye? And why does she keep in touch with everyone except for me? Even Hotch talks to her, I heard him on the phone last week. I really thought we were friends”

Penelope looked at her without saying anything, she knew something was odd, she just didn’t know what. “I’m really sorry”. 

Emily got up to try and hide the tears forming in her eyes. “Hum, I should go”

“Don’t be stupid, you’re sleeping here tonight, I’m not letting you pay a crazy amount of money for a cab in the middle of the night when you can just go home in the morning”

“You sure?”

“Me sure. Let me get you something to wear”. 

Penelope disappeared. Emily rubbed her eyes. She knew she wasn’t gonna get any sleep, her mind was to busy thinking about JJ, about her smile, her laugh, her voice, her blue eyes, her hair, her smell. She missed everything. All she wanted was for her to come back. She didn’t care about her feelings, at this point, she just wanted her friend back. 

“ _Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated_ ” - Alphonse De Lamartine 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! if you did please leave a comment/some kudos.   
> I'll post chapter 13 on wednesday probably, or thursday if i forget haha. 
> 
> I just wanted to thank y'all for all of the comments, it means the world to me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I really hope you're gonna like this chapter. Enjoy!

Even if the weather was getting better and warmer, as soon as the sun would set the air was cold again, and Penelope was freezing. She had been sitting on JJ’s doorstep for over an hour. She had tried to call but her friend didn’t pick up. 

It had been a week since girl’s night, and she really needed to have a real conversation with her. So after work she came to her place but nobody was there. She assumed JJ was somewhere with Henry, maybe at the park or something. She decided to sit there, she had nothing better to do, so might as well stay there, JJ had to come home at some point. 

She looked at her phone, she had no texts or calls, she could only see the time and her lock screen, which was the same picture Emily had seen at her place. It was now 9:30pm, it was obvious JJ wasn’t at the park so late especially with this weather. 

But she waited. When she looked at the time again, it was almost ten, she heard the sound of a car door slamming. She looked up and saw JJ trying to hold a sleeping Henry while looking for her key. She stopped when she saw her friend waiting by the door. 

“Garcia? What are you doing here?” She whispered, but Penelope could hear her tone was cold and angry. 

“We need to talk, but first let me hold my godson while you get in”

JJ surrendered, she definitely needed her help right now. She gave her son to Penelope delicately, careful not to wake him up. Once her hands were free, she managed to find her keys and opened the door, letting Penelope in. She closed the door behind her, kicked off her shoes, turned on the lights of the living room. 

“I’m gonna get him to bed, make yourself at home” She whispered, getting her son back. She climbed the stairs, trying not to wake him up. He was exhausted and desperately needed to rest. 

While JJ was getting him ready for bed, Penelope took the liberty to make them some tea. She knew JJ’s house like the palm of her hand. When the tea was ready, she heard JJ come down. She joined her in the living room with the two cups of green tea. 

JJ was sitting on the couch, Penelope sat down next to her. 

“So, what’s going on? What was so urgent that you were ready to freeze to death in front of my house?” JJ’s tone wasn’t as cold as when she saw her on her front porch. 

“Listen, we need to have a real talk, and I’m gonna need you to tell me the truth”

JJ frowned. “Okay, sure”. 

“How are you?”

“I’m okay”

“JJ, the truth. I’m might not be a profiler but I can tell when my best friend is lying to me, and I can definitely tell when she’s not okay.”

“Look, I’m fine, I’m just tired, this new job is harder than I thought, and Henry is starting to act out, it’s just a little hard. But don’t worry about me okay?”

“I’m already worried, and I will always be. But it’s not just work and Henry, am I wrong?”

JJ stayed silent, she didn’t know what to say. She needed to talk to someone, she wanted to talk to Penelope about it, but she was too close to Emily, she didn’t want her to get involve in this mess. 

“JJ you can talk to me”

Penelope could feel her heart break. She looked at JJ, but she could see that the spark in her blue eyes was missing. JJ looked away. 

“Talk to me”

These three words, and the way Penelope said them, it was all it took to make her burst into tears. The first reflex her friend had was to bring her in for a tight hug.

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, you’re not alone okay?”

She placed a kiss on the top of JJ’s head. It took her a few minutes to calm down. She sat down correctly again, and took a deep breath, drying her tears with a tissue her friend had handed her. Penelope was looking at her, not saying anything. She was waiting for JJ to say something when she’d be ready. The younger woman turned her head to meet her eyes, resting her chin on her hand. 

“I-“ She started talking but stopped immediately. 

“Listen, I’m sorry, if you’re not ready to talk it’s okay, we can do that another time, when you’re ready okay? I just don’t want you to see you hurt like that, I want to help you, okay?”

“No no it’s fine, I’m just- I don’t even know where to start”

“Take your time”

“I fell in love” JJ said this sentence, trying not to start crying again. “hard, I got my hopes up, and my heart broken”

“Is it why you left?”

“Yes”

Penelope took a few seconds to think and then asked softly, trying not to seem too pushy “JJ…was it Emily?”

JJ didn’t say anything, but the way she looked at her gave her the answer. JJ was in love with Emily. And she was heart broken. 

“Since when?”

It took JJ a few minutes before telling her best friend the whole story. The coffee shop, the bar, the kiss, her stupid rule that ruined everything, the jealousy, and the night where her heart broke in a million pieces. 

“And the next day you quit? Without saying goodbye?”

“I just couldn’t do it, say goodbye, because if I saw you guys, I wouldn’t have been able to leave, and I needed to leave, I couldn’t bear seeing Emily every single day, I just couldn’t. So I left, and stopped talking to her, it was the only way I would be able to get over her.”

“Forget about her?”

“Yeah, pretty much”

“And it didn’t work, huh?”

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m really sorry JJ, and it breaks my heart to know that you had to go through this all alone. You should have come to me, I would have been able to help you, at least with Henry and stuff. You’re tired, you lost weight, you need to rest.”

“I just don’t know how to deal with that, it’s been more than six months, why am I still feeling like that?”

“Love doesn’t understand the meaning of time”

JJ chuckled at Penelope’s face while she said that sentence. 

“What?” 

“Nothing…you just take this serious and proud look every time you try to be wise, it’s cute”

“Thank you my love”

“You’re welcome”. 

JJ smiled a little, which made Penelope smile too. She brought her in for another hug. 

“I’m staying here tonight, first of all because I’m too lazy to drive back to my apartment, and second of all so that tomorrow morning I can help Henry get ready, make breakfast and bring him to school so that you can rest a bit more, okay?”

“You don’t have to do that Pen, I’ll be okay”

“I know you will, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone, and also I want to spend time with my favorite godson and his wonderful mother, you’re not going to deprive me from my godson aren’t you?”

JJ smiled and shook her head “No I won’t”. 

Penelope gave her a kiss on her cheek which made JJ feel much better, it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She had someone to talk to about this whole mess, she wasn’t alone. 

“ _A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down_ ” - Arnold H. Glasgow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today, i hope you liked it, Garcia is always there when we need her, she's such a good friend, especially to JJ.   
> If you liked it please leave some kudos/comments!  
> I'll post the next chapter on saturday or sunday. 
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm back with chapter 5, i really really hope you'll like it. Enjoy!

_APRIL_

“Jennifer?” 

A young intern poked her head inside JJ’s office. 

JJ raised her head, she was overwhelmed by the amount of work she had to do, she didn’t have time for anything else. 

“What’s going on Dylan?” She asked, trying not to sound to harsh. 

“I know you said not to bother you unless there’s an emergency but…There’s someone here who wants to talk to you? He said he won’t leave until you talk to him” She was scared of her reaction, JJ could be really intimidating when she was pissed, no one wanted to see that. 

“Did he say his name?”

The intern started panicking “Hm…I forgot to ask him? I’m so sorry I-“

“Hey, don’t worry it’s okay, I won’t get pissed just for that, I’ve been in your shoes when I first started and trust me I’ve made bigger mistakes than these, just make sure it won’t happen again”

“Okay thanks, he’s waiting for you in the hall, should I tell him you’re in a meeting or something?”

“Nah it’s fine, I’ll go talk to him”. 

And just like that the intern disappeared. Ever since she had that talk with Garcia, she had been feeling a lot better, and which meant she tried to be a little more compassionate with her coworkers. Some people like when people are afraid of them, but for JJ it’s not the case, she just want people to feel safe with her, that’s why she became the communication liaison at the BAU, talking to the families and help them during hard times, that was the kind of person she has always wanted to be. 

She got up from her chair and walked to the main hall. She noticed Hotch immediately. She had no idea why he was here, and she couldn’t get anything from his facial expressions. Her mom brain started imagine the worst case scenario possible, what if someone had been hurt? Or even worse what if someone died and he didn’t want to tell her over the phone? Her heart started racing. 

“Hotch? Did something happen? Someone got hurt?”

“No, no don’t worry everyone’s safe, I just need to talk to you, and I thought a visit would be more effective than a phone call.”

“Oh, okay” 

Hotch looked around, the place was crowded. “Could we go somewhere more private to talk?” 

“Oh right, yes sure, let’s go in my office”. 

Hotch followed JJ to her office. She sat down as Hotch grabbed a chair to sit in front of her. 

“So what brings you here?”

“I’m gonna get straight to the point. Jordan, your replacement, got a better job offer and left, so the post of communication liaison is opened and I want you to take it.”

“I- Hotch I don’t know what to say” JJ was shocked, she wasn’t expecting that. 

“Don’t say anything, I just want you to listen to what I have to say okay?”

“Okay”

“First of all, I have to find a remplacement before next week, and there are a lot of people interested, and if Jordan was just a temporary position, this one won’t be, if someone else gets the job they’ll keep it, and you won’t be able to come back.”

“Hotch I don’t know..I like this job, and to be honest I don’t think I’m ready to come back”

“The team misses you JJ, you’re the glue, you’re one of the reasons why this team became a family, and without you things aren’t the same. I don’t want to make you feel bad about leaving, I just want you to come back, you’re one of the best agent I know, none of the applicants for this job is half as good as you JJ. We want you back, _I_ want you back. You know I’m not the kind of person that shows emotions, but you’re my friend, and I miss you, I miss you being part of the team. Is there anything I can do to make you come back?”

“Can I think about it?”

“I’m going to start interviewing people tomorrow, I need to know by the end of the day”

“Okay, I’ll call you tonight”

“Thank you”. 

Hotch left, leaving JJ alone. She let herself fall on her chair, covering her head with her hand. She texted Garcia “ _Are you free for lunch?_ ”

It only took her ten seconds to answer “ _yes of course! Wanna try the new food truck in the park?_ ”. JJ smiled, she couldn’t wait to see her friend. 

———————-

It was sunny outside, the spring was officially here, it was a real cliché. The birds were singing, the grass was green, the trees were colourful, it was really nice to be outside. JJ walked to the park to meet up with Penelope. The tech analyst was already in front of the foodtruck, ordering for the both of them. 

“I ordered you a salad, I hope it’s okay?”

“It’s perfect, I’m not really hungry” JJ planted a kiss on her friend’s cheek. They waited for their order to be ready and found a less crowded place in the park to be alone. They sat on a bench, facing each other. 

“So” Penelope cut to the chase “Hotch talked to you this morning?”

JJ looked surprised “How do you know?” 

“C’mon you know me, I know everything.” 

“Right, how could I forget that”

“So, tell me everything.”

“Hotch asked me to come back, and I don’t know what to do, I need your help”

“I don’t know if I’m the best person to help you because you know I’m definitely biased because I miss you more than anything and I want you back but I’m gonna try”

“Thanks” JJ chuckled. 

“So, what do you want to do? Pros and cons?”

“Sounds like a good idea but it’s gonna be fast, pros I want to come back because I miss you all and I miss my job, cons, I’m not sure I’m ready to face Emily again, especially because I know I probably hurt her, acting the way I did”

“I get that…”

“I feel so stupid for feeling like that, it’s been so long since everything happened, why am I still feeling like that? Just because of a stupid crush”

“Please don’t feel stupid, like I said, it takes time to heal, do it at your own pace, you’ll be fine I’m sure of it. But also I don’t think being far away from all your friends is gonna help you, including being far away from Emily” 

JJ knew her friend was right, and she really did miss everyone, she missed helping people the way she used to, of course her current job helped people too, but not in the same way. She missed the closeness she had with the families, and she definitely missed this amazing family she was a part of. Emily was the only thing that kept her from coming back. 

“I know you left to be able to heal, but look, it’s been two months, and it’s still hard, maybe seeing her again, as a friend, maybe it could help? Could you at least give it a try? The only thing I want is for you to be happy, and let’s face it, this job doesn’t make you happy. I’ve seen you work at the BAU, I’ve seen how dedicated you are to your job, and that makes you happy. Please come back”

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Okay”. Penelope bursted into tears, she had been waiting for that moment for two months, she just wanted her friend back. 

They talked about other things for a bit, like they always did, but then JJ had to go back to work and Penelope too. They hugged goodbye and went back to their jobs. As she was walking, she dialled Hotch’s number. He picked up right away. 

“I’m in” she said. 

The only thing he responded was “See you next Monday JJ”. 

She hung up, smiling. She didn’t know yes if I was the right decision, but she’d find out soon enough. 

———————-

Like promised, the next Monday, JJ was on her way to work, she had officially quit her job and signed a new contract with the BAU. She was excited to go back to work, but she was also terrified, she hadn’t seen Emily in two months, with the exception of their unexpected encounter at the bank, and that made her really anxious. She probably hated her anyway and she wouldn’t blame her, she had acted like a total ass, she deserved it. 

As soon as she walked out of the elevator, two people jumped on her to hug her. She didn’t need to look at them to know who it was. Of course it was Garcia and Reid. They had always been together since the beginning, so they were glad to finally be together again. She entered the main hall to find Morgan and Tara talking to each other. Morgan was the first one to notice her. They both gave her a hug and telling her they were glad she was back. She climbed the stairs to get to her office and ran into Rossi. 

“Hey! JJ! You’re finally back, I’ve missed you” he said as he hugged her. Hotch was inside his office as usual, she gently waved at him and he waved back with a smile, which was really rare. Shegot into her office. Everything was like it used to be, nothing had changed, she only needed to put her photo frames on her desk and that was it. She rapidly put her stuff on her desk and went to get a coffee, trying to find Emily without being too obvious. Garcia walked up to her “Emily isn’t here yet, don’t worry”. 

JJ smiled at her, taking a sip of her coffee. “Do you think she hates me?”

“Emily? She would never, trust me”. 

Ten minutes later, Emily finally got out of the elevator and instantly spotted JJ on the other side of the room. She was happy to see her again, but she was feeling really anxious, it was probably gonna be awkward and she hated that. She took her coat off and left her purse near her desk and went to greet JJ and Garcia. 

She first hugged Garcia and turned to JJ. The two women didn’t know how to act. Should they hug? Shake hands? Or just say hello?

“Come on you two, hug” said Garcia, insisting. 

They obeyed and hugged each other awkwardly. 

“Welcome back” said the brunette

“I’m glad to be back”. 

That was the only sort of conversation that they shared for the whole day. 

It was at the end of the day, when everyone was gone and Emily was waiting for the elevator that JJ mustered the courage to run towards Emily, who was getting into the elevator.

“Em!”

The brunette turned around, surprised. She got out of the elevator before the doors closed. 

“What’s going on?”

“Could we talk for a minute?”

“Yeah, sure”

They went by the windows, JJ leaned back on the wall and Emily stood in front of her. 

“Listen, I’m really sorry, for everything.”

Emily’s face was cold, emotionless, she didn’t say anything. 

“I’m not ready to talk about why I left, but I want you to know that if I could go back and change the way I acted, I would. I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, I shouldn’t have ignored you the way I did. Honestly I have no excuse, all I can say is that I’m truly truly sorry, and I hope you’ll forgive me because I miss you more than anything, I’d do anything to get you back.”

“I miss you too JJ”

Emily wasn’t ready to forgive JJ just yet, but there was no way she was gonna stay mad at her, she missed her too much. 

“Can I hug you?” Asked JJ, softly. 

Emily nodded, and got close to JJ and wrapped her arms around her. Both of them closed their eyes, it felt good, that’s probably when both of them realized how much they had missed each other. It felt like home. 

JJ was strong, she was gonna be able to heal, as long as she still had Emily by her side. She’d rather have Emily as her best friend than nothing at all. She needed her in her life. Little did she know Emily felt the exact same way. 

“ _I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than alone in the light_ ” - Helen Keller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today! If you liked it please leave a comment/some kudos. I'll post next chapter on wednesday :) 
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm back with chapter 16, i hope you'll like it! enjoy.

_MAY_

“William Peterson, 43 years old, he was found strangled in his bed this morning in Boston” JJ used the remote to show the victim on the screen “And James Klein, 27 years old, also found strangled but this time in his car two days ago”. 

“The killer is acting fast” said Emily, looking at her file. 

“We don’t have a lot of time before they strike again, we’ll continue debriefing on the jet, wheels up in thirty” said Hotch as she left the room. 

They all took their files and headed towards the jet. 

The whole team was in the jet, except for Garcia whose face was in their screens. 

“Two men found strangled, they don’t look like each other, they’re not the same age, they’re not from the same social circles, it’s very unlikely the unsub is looking for a surrogate, there’s another reason in these murders” said Reid as he was turning a pen in his fingers. 

“That’s what I was thinking, but we need to see if there’s anything linking these two victims” continued Tara. 

They could hear Garcia typing furiously on her keyboard “wait a second…checking bank records, social medias…” she stopped typing “nope, nothing, sorry my babies, they don’t know each other, they’ve never crossed paths, or at least there’s not records of that whatsoever.”

“Thanks anyway baby girl”

“Anytime my favorite chocolate thunder” Garcia hung up right after that. 

The flight to Boston wasn’t really long, they were already landing. When they landed, they all took different directions, JJ and Spencer went to talk to the families, Derek and Emily went to see the medical examiner, Tara and Rossi visited the last crime scene and Hotch met with the detective in charge of the case. 

It was the end of the afternoon when they all came back to the precinct. The local police had made available a room with a table and a white board for them. 

“The ME found traces of morphine in both victims, but that’s all.” Said Emily

“That’s weird…” Spencer started thinking. 

“The crime scene was incredibly clear, the unsub didn’t leave anything behind, and the kids were sleeping right next door and they didn’t hear a thing” said Rossi. 

“So the unsub was careful, discreet, organized, Morgan did the ME tell you if the victims suffered a lot? Any traces of tortures? Sexual assault?” Asked Reid

“No, nothing, they didn’t suffer, they died quickly”

“And they had morphine in their blood…I think we’re ready to give the profile” said Reid as he left the room to gather everyone. 

Once the whole police precinct was standing in front of them, Reid started speaking “We’re looking for a female, in her early thirties, she’s careful, organized, she’s not sadistic, in fact she doesn’t want her victims to suffer, she administers morphine before the murders to sort of ease their pain. She’s someone you would trust, she’s young, she will probably smile at you and will cooperate if she thinks we’re not onto her.”

Once they were done giving the profile, the police officers scattered, going back to their jobs. 

The team was still in the hallway when JJ appeared “Guys I have Garcia on the phone, she found something”

They all gathered around the table. “Garcia you’re on speaker” said JJ as she put down her phone on the table. 

“I don’t even know what to say except that I can’t believe my genius brain missed that. Listen guys, William is a single dad because he lost his wife three years ago to lung cancer and let me just say, he was an incredible father and made sure his kids were okay and happy and it breaks my heart to know that they’re now orphans…”

“What else did you find babygirl?” Morgan’s tone was soft, he knew his friend wasn’t really okay. 

“And James lost his girlfriend last year to leukaemia”

“They both lost someone close to cancer, that’s the thing linking them”

“And there is more, they got treatment at the same facility, Hill Crest Hospital.”

“Thank you mama”

“I can’t believe I didn’t see that sooner” she said, blaming herself. 

“Baby it’s okay, it happens to the best of us, the most important thing is that you found it now, okay?” Said Morgan, trying to reassure the tech analyst. 

“So they both lost someone to the same kind of decease and they were in the same hospital”

“But it wasn’t at the same time…William’s wife died three years ago and James lost her a year ago. Garcia, when was James’ girlfriend diagnosed?” Asked Reid. 

“Six months prior to her death” 

“Can you find out if they maybe went to a grief support groups?”

“Not that I know of”

“They didn’t cross paths, the patient at the hospital were probably different, the only logical explanation is that it’s someone from the staff? But why?” Emily was thinking out loud. 

“What if it’s an angel of death?” Suggested Reid 

“I mean…It could be what happened, but usually they kill the patients, not the close ones, it’s when they decide the victim would be better off if they no longer suffered from whatever severe illness is plaguing them?” Continued Tara

“Grief inevitably brings pain, it can be as painful as an illness, maybe the unsub is persuaded that killing them would end their suffering?” Said Emily, following their line of reasoning

“The unsub is probably a nurse or a doctor from the oncology department at the hospital, and she probably suffered a loss recently, and when she experienced the kind of pain the victims did, she wanted to ease their suffering. Garcia, you’re still here?” Asked Reid

“Always baby genius”

“Can you look up the files of all the staff from the hospital, and see if some of them recently lost a family member to cancer?”

“Will do” Garcia started typing on her keyboard. “Three nurses and one doctor lost someone the past month”

“Did all of them worked at the hospital three years ago?”

“Only three nurses were there three years ago, the doctor transferred two years ago”

“Do these nurses work in the oncology department?”

“Just one, Amy Cole, she lost her mother to liver cancer three weeks ago, they appeared to be really close. She was a nurse when William’s wife and James’ girlfriend were admitted and treated.”

“It’s her. Garcia is she working right now?”

“Yes, she clocked in an hour ago, she’s at the hospital and the address is on your phones….” Garcia clicked on her keyboard a little louder for the dramatic effect “…now!”

“Thanks Garcia, let’s go” said Hotch and they all grabbed their gears.

They parked at the hospital, and right before the went in, Hotch told warned them “She’s probably armed, she knows the FBI is investigating so she probably wants to be ready if anyone tries to arrest her. She lost her mother that she was really closed to, and she thinks that the only way to ease the pain she’s feeling now is death, that’s why she killed these people, and that’s why she won’t hesitate to kill herself and anyone in this hospital that might feel pain, so we need to be extra careful, alright? She knows the place inside and out, the SWAT team is gonna block every way out.”

They all nodded before going into the building. They asked the reception where Amy might be, but apparently no one had seen her since she clocked in. Half of the team went to the oncology department, to try and find out if any of her coworker knew where she was while the rest started looking everywhere for Amy. 

One of Amy’s coworker told JJ and Emily that she had seen her take the stairs in the back of the hospital when she saw the black SUV park in front of the hospital. Both of them ran to the back of the hospital and noticed a door that was opened. They got in, it was the chemotherapy room with a dozen of patients in it. They immediately noticed Amy, standing in the back of the room. 

“Amy Cole?” Asked JJ, loud and clear. 

She turned around and grabbed a woman standing next to her and put a gun to her head. “Don’t come any closer”. 

“Amy put the gun down” said Emily, her voice was calm, she was holding on on her gun pointed at the nurse, she was standing still. 

“No way, I’m a good person you know? These people don’t feel that crushing pain anymore, I did them a favor”. 

Both women knew that the only way to make her put the gun down was to play along, trying to talk some sense into her wouldn’t change anything. 

“We know that, we know that you wanted to do the right thing”

They could see the surprise in Amy’s eyes. Emily, without looking at JJ started putting her gun back in her holster, raising both of her hands. 

“Emily! What are you doing!” JJ whispered. 

Emily didn’t respond, she was looking at Amy, walking towards her. 

“I know how you feel Amy, I know how grief feels, it’s awful, it’s painful, you feel like the pain is never gonna go away, it eats you from the inside, and you don’t know how to deal with that, no one had prepared you, no one had told you how painful it was gonna be. I know how you feel.” 

“It hurts so bad, no one deserves to feel like that” Amy was crying. 

“I know, I’m sorry”

“You’re still hurting, who did you lose?”

“My aunt, heart attack”

“I can help you with that”. 

_“The future is carved out of the present moment. Tomorrow’s harvest depends upon today’s ploughing and sowing”_ \- Chinmayananda Saraswati

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for today! if you liked it, please leave a comment and some kudos. I'll post chapter 17 this weekend!
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with chapter 17, I know I said I was gonna post it this weekend but I had so many things to do it's kinda crazy haha.

It all happened very quickly, Amy loosened her grip around the woman’s shoulder, enabling her to run away, she turned her gun towards Emily and fired. JJ pulled the trigger and shot Amy on the side of her arm causing enough pain and surprise to make the nurse drop her gun. Morgan came in the room, running. JJ grabbed the gun and handcuffed Amy. She stood up and saw Emily on the ground. Fear took over her whole body, she froze, she couldn’t breathe, her brain didn’t seem to understand what was happening. She wanted to run towards her, but she couldn’t move. Her vision got blurry, and the room started moving around her as if she was gonna pass out. Then she saw that Morgan was next to Emily. 

“Emily? Are you hurt? Emily?” He kept asking. 

Her body magically started moving again and she rushed to her side, she kneeled down next to her, looking everywhere, trying to see if Emily was hurt. It took Emily a few seconds to come to her senses. 

“Guys… it’s okay… I’m okay…Bulletproof…jacket”. She opened her shirt, showing that the nurse had shot her right on her bulletproof vest. But she had trouble catching her breath. A couple of doctors came to check in on her and Amy. They took off her jacket and carried her in a gurney while the brunette kept saying she was okay and that she could just go home. 

“Ma’am, we need to examine you, making sure you don’t have any broken ribs or internal bleeding.” 

After a few minutes Emily figured the doctors weren’t gonna change their minds so she gave up, she let them examine her, telling herself that if she made things difficult for them she would have to stay even longer. 

Meanwhile JJ was waiting right next door. Morgan was sitting with her, everyone else was back at the hotel. They had volunteered to wait for Emily and give her a ride back to the hotel. She had insisted on them leaving, saying she would be able to drive back but there was no way her two friends were gonna leave without her. 

The doctors examined Emily, after an ultrasound and a x-ray they were able to discharge her. JJ and Morgan walked up to her while she was signing the discharge papers, the doctor was still next to her. 

“Is she okay?” Asked JJ

“She is, nothing’s broken, she’s just going to have a nasty bruise but it’s gonna fade in a few days”

“Nothing’s broken, just a bruise that doesn’t hurt, exactly what I said three hours ago, but no one listened to me” said Emily with a clearly sarcastic smile on her face. She signed the last page of the form and turned around. 

“Goodbye agent Prentiss, please try to be careful for the next two days, at least” said the doctor, even though he knew the agent wasn’t gonna listen to him. 

“We’ll make sure of it” said Morgan before wrapping his arm around his friend, leading her to the main exit. 

The three of them drove back to the hotel. Morgan was driving, Emily was on the passenger seat and JJ was in the back. 

“I know I’ve worked here for less than a year, but I’m not wrong when I say it’s rare when we get to close a case in less than twenty-four hours, right? Or maybe it’s just me”

“Oh no, you’re right, it’s really rare, but it’s a great feeling, it reminds us that we’re actually good at our job. I mean, a little more than 12 hours to find the unsub, it’s almost a record, we should keep track of these kind of things” said Morgan, looking at the road. 

“Oh, trust me, Garcia keeps track, she knows everything” said JJ, laughing. 

Morgan parked right in front of the hotel. It was already really late so they all came back to their rooms to get some sleep. 

JJ locked the door behind her, she felt weird, she was tired but she knew there was no way she was gonna get some sleep. She laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She tried to close her eyes, but every time she felt like she was going to actually fall asleep, all she could see was Amy pulling the trigger and Emily falling on the grown. Over and over again. And every single time her heart would skip a beat and she was wide awake again. Amy shooting. Emily falling. Amy shooting. Emily falling. Amy shooting. Emily dying. 

JJ didn’t even notice she was crying until she felt the cold air on her cheeks. Emily wasn’t dead. She was alive. JJ kept repeating that to herself “Emily is okay, she’s alive, she’s not dead”. But the image was still stuck in her brain, the split moment where she had no idea if Emily was alive or not, that was the only moment that was stuck in her brain. Her whole body was aching at the idea of losing the brunette. 

She knew there was only one thing she had to do, and she had to do it now or she’d get cold feet again. She got up, put her shoes back on and left her room without looking back. But when the door locked behind her, she realized that she had no idea what Emily’s room number was. She knew they were on the same floor and her room was near the elevator because she had stopped before her when they had left the elevator. She went back to the elevator, to try and remember which door was Emily’s. Then she noticed the cute painting she had looked at while Emily was going into her room. She had found her door. She wasn’t entirely sure it was hers but it was her only option. She knocked at the door, hoping that this time it would be Emily on the other side. 

The door opened, it was her. JJ’s heart stopped, she wanted to say something but nothing was coming out of her mouth. Emily didn’t say anything either, she looked right into the eyes of JJ. It was the only thing JJ needed to act. She crashed her lips against Emily’s. The brunette was surprised but didn’t break the kiss. The kiss started getting heated when Emily finally took a step back. 

“JJ what are you doing here?” 

JJ took a moment to catch her breath, she still couldn’t talk. Emily let her in, closing the door behind her. 

“What’s going on?” Emily was still standing by the door, trying to process what had just happened while JJ was pacing around the room. 

JJ suddenly stopped, she had to say something or Emily was gonna think she was going crazy. 

“I have something to say, and it’s hard, and I don’t know how to say it”

Emily closed the door and approached JJ. The young woman took a step back and put her hands in front of her. “Please, stop and just listen to me or I’ll never be able to say it.” 

JJ looked down. “For a split second today I thought I lost you. I was terrified, I was terrified because I just can’t imagine my life without you in it. And now I can’t sleep because all I can think about is the fact that you could have died.”

Emily wanted to say something, she wanted to hug JJ, telling her that she’s okay, she’s safe and she’s here, she’s not going anywhere, but she didn’t want to interrupt her, so she stood still, looking at her with her arms crossed. 

“I don’t know how to say it, I’m not really good with words when it comes to you. I love you Emily. I love you more than anything and it’s destroying me. I know I have no rights, saying this to you even though I’m the one that pushed you away, telling you that nothing could happen between us. I was selfish, I was scared to get hurt again just like what happened with Will. But that’s not living, I know that if I truly want to be happy again I need to take risks and that’s what I’m doing right now, I love you Emily and I want to be with you, no matter what the consequences are, I want to be with you, only you.”

Emily was crying. 

“Em please say something” JJ’s voice was breaking. 

It was Emily’s turn to be speechless, she couldn’t think clearly. So she did the only thing that could express how she feels. She got closer to JJ and kissed her. The kiss was softer than the one before, both of them were crying. But a few seconds later JJ opened her mouth, letting Emily in. The older woman pushed JJ against the wall, trying to get closer to her even though it was physically impossible. JJ could feel the heat forming in her lower stomach, she needed more. As if Emily could read her thought, she started pulling on her shirt, breaking the kiss just so that she could take off JJ’s shirt completely. She threw it somewhere in the room before sliding on of her hand on JJ’s bare stomach. The blonde woman whispered “bed”. 

“ _almost losing one person you love shines a bright spotlight on life, and suddenly strips you of everything but your real feelings”_ \- Fannie Flagg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for today!   
> First of all, I have to say, I'm not really proud of that chapter, so i'm sorry if the quality isn't really great...And also, idk why i just don't know how to write smut...so yeah i had to stop there. Hopefully one day i'll finally master this hahaha (if anyone has any advice please don't hesitate!).   
> I'll post chapter 18 on friday!
> 
> Have a good week, stay safe,
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with chapter 18, I really hope you'll like it!

JJ and Emily were laying on that hotel bed, legs intertwined, trying to catch their breath. Both of them were smiling, looking at each other. 

JJ finally managed to say something “Wow” 

“I have to agree with you” 

JJ chuckled, resting her head on the brunette’s chest. She closed her eyes for a second, savouring the moment. Emily was playing with her hair. 

“I never really answered” she whispered. 

“I definitely liked the way you sort of did”

“Yeah, me too. But here’s what I should have said”

JJ lifted her head so that she could look at Emily. 

“What?”

“I love you too, like crazy, and I’m not the kind of person that says that out loud easily” Emily tried not to look at JJ, like if she was ashamed to say that.

“I know”

Emily turned her head, finally looking at the blonde woman “But I want to be with you too”

JJ wrapped her arms around Emily, holding on tight. 

“I just have one question” said Emily softly. 

“Hm”

“Is it why you’ve been acting distant?”

“Yeah…and that’s why I took the job, I’m sorry, it was childish for me to act that way, my heart was broken and I just couldn’t bear being near you and not being able to be _with_ you”

“It’s not childish JJ, it’s called being human”. 

JJ closed her eyes again, Emily could see that she was exhausted. “We should get some sleep” she said, before realizing that JJ was, in fact, already asleep. It only took Emily a minute to fall asleep too. 

But as soon as she closed her eyes, she opened them again, at the sound of her phone ringing. She let out a low groan. She looked at the time and stood up immediately, waking up the woman next to her. 

“what’s going on” she said in a hoarse voice. Emily was already getting dressed. 

“It’s 6:30, we have to leave in fifteen minutes”

JJ stood up too, a little bit less quickly, half of her brain was still asleep “i have to go back to my room before anyone sees me”

“yeah, that would be best” said Emily. She felt a little bit embarrassed, asking JJ to leave like that after what happened. 

JJ was finally awake, she looked around to room, trying to find the rest of her outfit. When she found everything, she started heading towards the door but turned around at the last moment, she got closer to Emily, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you for last night” she said before finally leaving. 

JJ looked around before closing the door behind her, no one was there, she walked across the hall to get back to her room, and took another look around, before entering, making sure no one had seen her. 

Little did she know that Derek was just coming back from a run when he saw JJ leaving Emily’s room with her messy hair and her wrinkled shirt. 

When everyone got in the jet, JJ grabbed Emily’s arm and whispered “Could we talk for just a second?”

“Of course”

“What are we now?”

Emily paused for a second. “What do you want us to be?”

“I- I don’t really know”

“Maybe keep it simple? Who cares about labels”

JJ smiled a little “You’re right”.

Emily smiled back “C’mon let’s go, everyone’s waiting for us”.

They went back to their seats while Morgan grabbed his phone. 

_“Babygirl when I get back we need to talk, I have something to tell you, it’s about our bet”_

_“DID I WIN????”_

_“Unfortunately for me, yes”_

Garcia didn’t text back but he knew she was jumping around and giggling like she always does. 

“ _it’s always the simple that produces the marvelous_ ” - Amelia Barr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all, i'm so sorry, it's incredibly short, but i don't know, i guess i was a little busy and i didn't find the time to write more. I hope you'll forgive me haha. Anyways, if you liked it please leave some comments. I'll post next chapter on sunday, i promise. 
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY I'm late, this week was crazy for me and i totally forgot to update it...I hope you're not mad haha.   
> This is chapter 19, I hope you'll like it :)

_JUNE_

Emily opened her eyes, she could feel the warmth of the sun on her face. Her cheek was resting on JJ’s chest, feeling her heart rate and her steady breath, meaning the blonde was still asleep. JJ’s arms were still wrapped around Emily’s body, like if she was scared of letting her go. She liked these kinds of mornings, where it was just the both of them in JJ’s bed. Nothing else mattered except for the woman sleeping next to her. She didn’t want this moment to end, but she remembered what happened the night before. 

————————————————————————————————————————

“Listen there is no way Spencer knows _everything_.” Said Emily as she was cleaning the table. 

JJ was in the next room cleaning the dishes “I swear, he knows everything there is to know, he’s been learning facts for the last thirty years”

“So if I ask him how you say “snow” in Scottish he’ll know how to answer?” Asked Emily. 

“For sure”

“I don’t believe you, there’s no way he knows.” Said Emily as she came into the kitchen. 

“Let’s call him now then” JJ took her phone out of her pocket. “The loser has to make breakfast in bed tomorrow”

“JJ it’s past midnight”

“Spence never sleeps” She dialled his number and put him on speaker. 

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Spence? I just have one question, how do Scottish people say the word snow?”

It only took the doctor a second to think. “ _Actually there’s not just one word, there are many ways the Scots use to express the concept of snow, in fact there is more than four hundred way for them to talk about snow, I can list them if you want…_ ”

Emily’s smile faded during Spencer’s answer that was obviously correct. JJ was smiling proudly. 

“Nah it’s okay Spence, thank you”

“ _Okay, goodnight then?_ ”

“Goodnight”. 

Spencer hung up without even questioning the reason of that exchange, he was used to it with JJ, he knew that every time she wanted something, she managed to make the person in front of her question his intellectual capacities and then make a bet. It always worked. 

JJ put her phone back in her pocket and said “I guess you owe me one breakfast in bed?”. Her voice was high-pitched, showing her pride. 

————————————————————————————————————————

Emily carefully moved JJ’s arms, trying not to wake her up. She got up from the bed and went through the first drawer within her reach to find something to wear. She grabbed a grey shirt, apparently from the FBI training academy. It was old and the letters were fading away, but it smelled like JJ and it was comfy, everything Emily liked. The climbed down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. It only took her twenty minutes to make the perfect breakfast, eggs, bacon, fresh-made orange juice, coffee and avocado toasts. Contrary to the popular belief, the FBI agent was a great cook and she actually liked cooking homemade meals. She put everything on a tray and managed to go back upstairs without falling or dropping everything on the clean floor. She opened the door with her elbow and pushed it with her shoulder. She looked at JJ, still asleep. Her eyes were closed, her face was relaxed and her hair was messy. She looked like an angel. Emily stood there for a moment, trying to take a mental picture, she wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life. 

She gently put the tray on her desk and started opening the blinds, letting the sun come in completely. She thought it would wake her up, but the woman was still sound asleep. It was almost eleven in the morning and she knew that JJ didn’t really like to wake up late so she kneeled down on the bed next to her and started lightly kissing her cheek, her forehead, her shoulder, which made the woman move and groan in the cutest way. She covered her eyes with her hand and a smile appeared on her face when she recognised the smell of the coffee and the bacon. 

“Oh right…that bet”

“I always stand by my word”

“I can see that”

She finally uncovered her eyes to see Emily next to her, with a soft smile. “Good morning”. 

“Good morning”

“You’re wearing my shirt”

Emily looked down at the shirt. “Yeah…is that okay?”

“Of course” She lifted her head to place a kiss on the agent’s lips. Emily got up from the bed to get the tray and placed it next to the both of them.

“I can’t believe it’s only been one month” said JJ while taking a sip of her coffee. 

“Oh wow, you’re already tired of me? Am I _that_ boring?” Emily placed a hand on her chest and fake-gasped. 

“Noooo, it’s just that I feel more comfortable with you after only one month than after two years with Will”

“To be honest, I feel the same way” Emily put down her plate to gently kiss JJ. The sound of the doorbell interrupted them. 

“You’re expecting someone?”

“Yeah it’s my husband, you better hide in the closet” said JJ with a smirk. 

Emily rolled her eyes. 

JJ got up and quickly put on some pants and a shirt before running the stairs to open the door. She didn’t have time to say something that a little monkey jumped in her arms shouting “mommy!”. JJ hugged him tight, surprised. Will was standing on her doorstep and said “He missed you, so we came early, is that okay?”

“Yes of course” JJ smiled at him. She still didn’t like him but over the years they had managed to become civil. 

He handed her a bag “here’s his stuff, I’m gonna go”

“Okay, see you later”. She closed the door as he was walking back to his car. After a few minutes Emily came downstairs and ran into the little boy. “Oh, hi”

“Who are you?” He was looking at her with a suspicious look which made Emily smile, seeing how protective he was of his mother. 

JJ came back from the living room and immediately said “It’s my girlfriend”. When she realized what she had just said her cheeks turned bright red. Emily noticed it and smiled, they had never made their relationship official, but it was obvious. 

“Yes, I’m your mommy’s girlfriend”. Emily squatted to talk to Henry. 

“What’s your name?”

“Emily”

“Millie” Emily smiled, maybe Heather wasn’t the only one calling her that anymore, and she was more than okay with this. 

“And what’s your name?”

“Henry” He gave her a bright smile and Emily gave him one back. 

JJ looked at them from the other side of the room and placed her hands on her mouth, admiring the scene. She was about to tear up when Emily got back up and said “I think I’m gonna go, I’ll see you tomorrow”. She grabbed her purse and kissed her on the cheek. She figured JJ could use a moment alone with her son. 

————————————————————————————————————————

The doors of the elevator about to close when JJ heard Emily coming and shouting “hold the elevator”. JJ put her hand to keep the doors from closing. Emily ran inside, she was out of breath. “Are you late agent Prentiss?”

“I’m as late as you so you don’t get to say anything”. 

They both chuckled.

“Henry likes you” said JJ, smiling. 

“Well I like him too”

“Should we make it official? I know we’ve only been dating for a month, but they’re our family and I don’t know, I don’t want to keep something that big from them” JJ appeared anxious. Emily put her hand on JJ’s to try and calm her down. 

“I think we should, secrets suck”

“Definitely. How do we do it?”

“Quick and simple”

“I’m good with that”. 

The doors opened and they entered the hall. They saw everyone get into the conference room so they joined them. As far as JJ knew, there was no new cases, and Hotch had told her no new requests had come in over the weekend. Everyone sat down around the table, including Hotch. JJ and Emily were the only two standing. They shared a look, nodded, and Emily started talking. 

“We have something to say, I know it’s not the place to make some big declaration and being emotional, so we’re just gonna say it. JJ and I have been dating for a few weeks, and it’s something we didn’t want to keep from all of you.”

They all looked surprised, except for Penelope and Derek who shared a high five. 

Tara was the first one to say something “That’s really great, I’m happy for you”. JJ and Emily smiled back. Even Hotch had a small smile, not enough show his teeth, but they could see it in his eyes. 

“Of course you’ll have to fill some paperwork with HR to disclose your relationship, but as far as it goes for me, I’m happy for you, you’re both great agents and I know something like this won’t affect your work.” He said. 

“ _I love you, and that’s the beginning and end of everything”_ \- F. Scott Fitzgerald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today! I'll post chapter 20 on Tuesday (and this time i swear i won't forget and if I do just spam me on twitter and i'll post it).   
> There are 4 chapters left for this fic!  
> If you liked it please leave some kudos/comments. 
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! I'm back with chapter 20, I hope you'll like it :)

_AUGUST_

“EMILY” JJ shouted her name at the top of her lungs but the agent didn’t turn around. She walked right inside that building, unarmed, without looking at the blond woman who kept screaming her name. She didn’t look at her because if she did she knew she wouldn’t be able to do what she was about to do. And she had to do it. A woman’s life depended on it. She became a part of the FBI to protect people, and leaving an innocent woman at the hands of a dangerous, mentally unstable man wasn’t honoring her badge.

Hotch had specifically told everyone not to go inside, the building was filled with explosive and they had no eye on the unsub. Emily had been able to talk to him on the phone and convinced him to let her in at one condition : she needed to leave her bulletproof vest and her gun outside. It was dangerous, but she was confident she could talk some sense to the man and save the both of them. So she walked inside, trying to ignore the screams of the woman she loves.

She was calm, her hands weren’t shaking, she walked to the main hall on the first floor, where the young man had told her to go. She stood up in the middle of the empty room. She raised both of her hands and shouted : “Andrew? It’s me, Emily Prentiss, could you come out so that we can talk?”

She heard someone walking up to her from behind, she turned around and saw Andrew holding tightly a young woman named Jessica with a gun pressed on her head. On the other hand, Emily noticed a switch, a detonator.

“I pictured you different” said the man, tilting his head while looking at her.

“I get that a lot”

She looked at Andrew. He was a 22 years old man, but he looked like he was at least 30. He had to grow up faster than others, he raised himself, his mom was an addict and his dad died before he was born. He was alone. When his mother died, it was the trigger he needed to start his killing spree. He looked for every unfit mothers, mothers that were struggling with money, prostitutes. But it wasn’t enough, he started killing the mothers that had everything, because it was the only thing he never had, and the only thing he had ever wanted.

The young man’s leg was shaking, he was nervous. But he wasn’t loosening his grip around the woman, and especially not on the detonator.

“What are you looking at” he said, sharply.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how hard it’s been for you. You know, at some level I can actually relate to you? My mother wasn’t there for me when I needed her the most, I had to grow up on my own, without the emotional help a mother is supposed to bring. It’s hard, so I can’t even imagine how you must have felt, it breaks my heart”.

After Emily was done, the young man bursted out laughing, loudly. “Are you serious? That’s all you could find in this brain of yours?”

Emily looked at him, not really know how to answer.

“Emily, Emily, Emily, I thought you were smarted than the others, that’s why I said you were the one that could come up here, I wanted to see what you were going to say, and to be honest I’m extremely disappointed, you gave me the same shit everyone says when they want someone to put down their gun. It’s alway the same, you try to tell the person you know how they feel, you pity them, you ask them to put the gun down and they end up doing it. But I’m surprised you didn’t end this shit with the beautiful and overused sentence “it’s not what your mother would have wanted”, like if you guys knew my mother, she didn’t give a shit about me, she never did, so she wouldn’t want anything because I’m pretty sure that for most of her life she had no idea she had a son”

“You’re right, I told you the same shit I tell every unsub, and I’m sorry, you’re better than this, you’re smarted than them, my spell doesn’t work on you. So what do you want me to do? What can I possibly do so that the three of us can get out of here alive?”

Andrew scratched his head with his gun and smiled “Nothing, we can just go, I give up.” He let go of the woman who immediately ran towards Emily and put his gun on the ground.

“What are you doing Andrew?” Said Emily, she knew it was never that easy, and she could see in his eyes that everything was going the way he wanted to.

“We’re getting out of here, I’m setting you free”.

Then she understood. They were getting out of here. But not they way she wanted. He was desperate, she knew that, and it was the reason why Hotch said they couldn’t go inside. He was ready to kill himself if it meant taking the young woman he was holding hostage with him. It all happened really fast. Or not. Emily has no idea, she pushed Jessica and shouted “RUN”. The both of them ran, they didn’t know where, but they didn’t stop running.

Andrew stayed in the room, quiet, calm, almost peaceful. He looked down at his hand, smiling, as he pressed the button.

**——————————————————————————————————————**

It had been more than twenty minutes since Emily had entered the building. It had been more than twenty minutes since JJ was holding her breath, unable to think properly.

Then a loud noise, flames, smoke, the building simply crashed on itself. JJ tried to scream, but nothing came out, she couldn’t breathe, she was on her knees, with her open mouth, but no sound was coming out of her throat. After what felt like an hour, she finally saw a shadow coming out of the flames. Everything was blurry, but it was her. It was Emily. She was helping a woman walk, probably Jessica.

JJ’s body finally responded, and she yelled the brunette’s name before running towards her. Hotch took over, guiding the poor woman to the paramedics while JJ hug Emily as tightly as she could, trying to convince herself it was real.

“I’m okay JJ, I promise”

But JJ didn’t let her go, she was terrified, she was terrified that if she let go of the hug and opened her eyes, Emily wouldn’t be here. But at some point, the paramedics told JJ she had to step back so that they could examine Emily, see if she was okay.

_An hour later…._

Emily was okay, the paramedics and firefighters told her she had been extremely lucky, she had no internal injuries, just some scratches, but nothing bad, nothing worth bringing her to the emergency room. So here they were, the whole team was back at the BAU, changing clothes and getting ready for the briefing Hotch insisted they had to do before they could leave.

While everyone was talking, asking Emily questions about what happened, the brunette noticed JJ wasn’t here. She was in her office, the door was closed.

“Excuse me, I have to do something”. Emily left the group and climbed the stairs leading to JJ’s office. She softly knocked at the door but nobody answered. She slowly opened the door anyway.

JJ didn’t even lift her head to see who it was. “I’m busy” she said.

Emily looked at her. Her jaw was clenched, her hands were holding tightly the file she had in her hands. It didn’t take a profiler to notice she was mad.

“JJ, can we talk?”

“Emily, I don’t want to talk right now, I have a lot of things to do, sorry.”

The brunette closed the door and sat down in front of her. JJ finally lifted her head. Her eyes were piercing, if Emily wasn’t in love with that woman, she’d be terrified right now. The blonde woman slammed the file on her desk, took her purse and coat and left the room, without even looking at Emily.

She opened the door and walked straight to Hotch’s office. She knocked and immediately opened the door. Hotch was at his desk, doing the paperwork and preparing the briefing.

“Yes JJ?”

“I was wondering if for once I could go home early? Here are my notes for the briefing”.

She handed him a sheet of paper.

“Sure, it’s mainly for the profilers so I don’t see why you couldn’t leave early. Have a great weekend JJ”

She slightly smiled at him “Thank you Hotch, you too”. She closed the door on her way out. She walked to the elevators, without saying goodbye to anyone. But as she was getting in the elevator, she head someone running after her. Of course it was Emily.

“JJ, what’s going on”

“Nothing, I’m just going home”

“You’re mad”

“No shit”

“Please talk to me”

“No, because if I talk to you right now, I’m gonna lose my temper and say things I don’t really mean, I just need some time”.

As she finished her sentence, the elevator doors closed and just like that, JJ was gone. Emily stood still for a few minutes, staring at the elevator.

“ _Anger is the result of love. It is energy for defence of something you love when it’s threatened_ ” - Tim Keller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for today, if you liked it please leave some kudos/comments, it means a lot to me! I'll post chapter 21 next Sunday (I don't think I'll have time to do so sooner). Thank you so much for all the support, 
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I am super super late I'm so sorry!! My job has been more exhausting than I thought it would be, I didn't get the time to write for a while...But I'm back now with chapter 21, I hope you'll like it.  
> Enjoy!

“See you tomorrow everyone” said Hotch as he left the room. The meeting was over, Emily hadn’t paid attention, she didn’t even notice that it had ended. Spencer was the one to make her come back to reality.

“Em, it’s over, we can leave” he said as he got up.

Emily jumped and got up, trying to think properly. All she could think about was the way JJ had left. She was mad and hurt, and Emily had no idea why. The only thing she knew was that it was probably related to what had happened earlier.

She was conflicted, she knew JJ wanted to be alone, but she couldn’t possibly just go home and act like nothing happened, they had to talk about it.

She was about to leave the building when she bumped into Garcia who was looking for her car keys.

“Oh, oh sorry Emily” she said as she adjusted her glasses while trying not to drop her purse. Emily helped her and held it for her. “Oh thank you”

“Are you in a rush?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, JJ asked me to go to her house because the babysitter is about to leave and she needs someone to be with Henry”

“Oh, she’s not home?”

“Right…yeah, you should probably go talk to her”

“Do you have any idea where she is?”

“No, sorry Em”

“It’s okay, I have some ideas”

“She loves you, don’t worry about that” Penelope could see Emily was worried and scared.

“I know, I love her too”

“Go get her” She gave her one of her great smiles that could light up a room.

Emily smiled back and got in her car. It was warm outside, but she knew JJ didn’t really like sitting alone outside, which is something a lot of people do when they need to be alone. There was only one place that was still open where JJ could be. She parked in front of the coffeeshop where they first met.She could see JJ was sitting inside, drinking a cup of coffee, staring at the empty chair in front of her.

Emily stepped inside, ordered a coffee and walked up to JJ. Their eyes met and Emily’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t been this nervous in a long time.

“Hey” she said, timidly.

“Hey” said JJ “please sit”.

Emily sat down, still looking at the blonde woman. “Can we talk?”

JJ nodded. “You could have died Emily”

“But I didn’t, I’m here, I’m okay”

“It’s not the point”

“Then what is it?”

“Hotch said it was too dangerous, and he was right, we had no way to know where the unsub was inside the building, we didn’t even know if Jessica was still alive or not, all we knew is that he was ready to kill himself and bring anyone that got in the way with him. We knew the building was filled with explosives. It was too risky, that’s why Hotch told us not to go in, it was a tough decision to make, but he made it because we’re humans too, we’re not superheroes.”

“But I’m alive, and Jessica is too, if I had listened to what Hotch said, Jessica would be dead.”

“Emily you’re not alive because of how strong or smart you are. You got _lucky_. You got _lucky_. You could have died in there, and you didn’t even consider what the consequences would be. You’re not alone anymore Emily, you can’t just think about yourself. I know you spent most of your life alone, I know how hard it is for you to open up and trust people, and deep down you believe that the only person you can count on is you. For so long it was you against the world. But you’re not anymore. You have me, you have Henry, and this is what you have to keep in mind. It’s a part of the deal, when you risk your life that way, it impacts everyone, not just you.”

JJ was crying. Emily wanted to talk, but she gave JJ some time to calm down and handed her a tissue.

“I’m truly sorry, you’re right, it’s not just me, but you have to understand something JJ. I love you, I love Henry, you’re my family, but I can’t just stop being the way that I am, my job is protecting people, and I can’t stop doing that.”

“I’m not asking you to do that Emily, what I’m saying is that you can’t take unnecessary risks like that, your guardian angel won’t always be there to save you, if you keep acting that way, one day you won’t be so lucky and you won’t get out of that building alive, and I can’t support that. I will never ask you to change who you are, I just want you to be more careful, that’s all I’m asking.”

Emily didn’t know what to say. JJ was right, what she did, entering that building unarmed right after her boss told her it was too risky, it was stupid and reckless.

She opened her mouth to try and say something, but she had no idea what to say.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier, I was hurt and scared, I shouldn’t have walked out on you like this, I’m sorry.” JJ reached for Emily hands and looked at her. They were both crying.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try.” Managed to say Emily.

“That’s all I’m asking.”

That’s when Emily would have said “I love you”, but once again, she couldn’t even open her mouth, she just stared at JJ in silence. They were holding hands on the coffee table. They didn’t need to say anything to know exactly what they were thinking.

“ _We stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything_ ” - Jenny Han.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today, I hope you liked it, if you did please leave some kudos/comments! I should be able to post chapter 22 next weekend (I'll do my best). Thank you so much for all of your support, it's incredible, I love y'all and I hope you're doing okay. 
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm really nervous about this chapter, i don't know why. I think it's my favorite chapter so far, so I'm nervous to know if you liked it as much as i liked writing it. Enjoy!

_TWO YEARS LATER…_

_MAY_

The whole team was sitting around a huge table in Rossi’s backyard. The sun was setting after a great day for everyone. The men were wearing tuxedos, including now-8-years-old Henry, which was the cutest thing everyone had ever seen. Garcia and Tara were wearing beautiful red dresses and finally JJ and Emily were both wearing white suits. They were sitting side by side, quiet while everyone was talking about the wonderful dinner Rossi had made them. JJ’s hand was on top of Emily’s, and everyone could see the brand new rings on their fingers. 

“Emily, JJ can you please finally tell us about the proposal? It’s been months and I just wanna know right now. I can’t wait any longer.” Said Penelope, excited. 

Emily started smiling and asked JJ “Do you wanna tell that story? Or should I be the one?”. 

JJ made a hand gesture towards Emily and the brunette cleared her throat. 

“So, around a year ago, I knew I wanted to propose. We had been through a lot, and no matter what happened we were always drawn back to each other. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and with this adorable little boy that’s not so little anymore” she winked at Henry and kept talking “The only thing I have left from my grandmother was her engagement ring. She gave it to me right after she learnt I was gay, she told me to give it to someone that’s worth it, and that she didn’t care about the gender, just as long as that someone made me happy. I didn’t give it to Claire, I didn’t give it to anyone before, no matter how much I loved them, because deep down I knew they weren’t what my grandma had hoped for me. But JJ? She was everything. I knew she was the one. So I knew I wanted to propose, I had the perfect ring, but I had no fucking idea-“

JJ pocked her in the rib and whispered “language” 

Emily started laughing “Did you really stop me in my beautiful speech about how much I love you?”

“Absolutely, and I’ll do it again”

“Okay sorry mom” said Emily with a baby voice that made everyone laugh. “Ok so, let’s hope JJ will let me finish my speech. I had the ring, but I had no idea how to propose. I knew she didn’t want some big gesture, and I didn’t want to do one, I wanted something simple, romantic, because we deserved something simple after all the difficulties we had to face. For a week I walked around with that ring in my pocket, waiting for the perfect time to do so. I almost did it when we were eating at a restaurant one night, but it didn’t feel right. And one night, I was in our room, we were about to go to sleep and JJ came out in her pajamas, her hair was in a messy ponytail, and she was brushing her teeth and…I don’t know, I had never found her more beautiful than at that moment. That was something I knew I wanted to see every night for the rest of my life”. 

JJ pocked her in the rib again. 

“Aouch, hey! I didn’t say anything! I was being cute”

JJ grinned and said “I know, I just want to tell the rest of that story, and that was the only way I could make you stop talking”

“There’s like a _million_ other ways to make me stop talking”

JJ ignored her and looked at her friends “So I was absolutely clueless, like, it was an evidence, I knew we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together, and I knew that eventually we were gonna talk about marriage. But at that moment, I was tired, I looked like a mess, all I wanted was to brush my teeth and throw myself on the bed and sleep for at least five hours. So I came in our room to get my hairbrush and I see Emily look at me, and the next thing I know she rushing on the other side of the room, holding her hand in the air, telling me to stop moving. Then I see her get a little velvet box out of her pocket. I was in shock, and she got down on one knee, she was so excited that she almost fell, and then she just said “marry me”, with the most sincere, loving look. So now let me remind you, my mouth was full of water and toothpast, I couldn’t talk”

This time, it was Emily’s turn to stop JJ, she didn’t poke her in the rib but pinched her forearm. “hey!” Said JJ, falsely offended. 

“My turn to talk. So yeah, I’m down on one knee, waiting for her to answer and she just turned around and went back to the bathroom. Let’s just say, she was gone for like ten seconds, which was enough time for me to reconsider every decisions I’ve ever made in my life. But she came back, without her toothbrush this time, she was smiling and, of course, she said yes, and I was the happiest woman on earth. And then I got the best mint-flavoured kiss of my life.”

“There it is, our proposal story”

“It’s everything I could have imagined for the both of you” said Morgan. Next to him was Garcia, who was trying to hide the fact that she was crying. 

“You okay babygirl?” He asked. 

“Yes, it’s- it’s just beautiful and I love you guys so much and you deserve all of the happiness in the world, I love that story and I want to hear it again” she said, trying to stop the tears from running down her face. 

“Well I have to say, I love every parties we’ve ever thrown in that backyard, but the weddings are my favorite” said Rossi, as he raised his glass. “To the most beautiful brides, Jennifer and Emily Prentiss-Jareau”

“Wait a second”, said Penelope, before everyone could raise their glasses. “Something has been bothering me for a while and I have to ask something”. 

Emily and JJ frowned, wondering what she had to say “What’s going on Garcia?” Asked the brunette. 

“It’s about you” she pointed at JJ. 

“Me?” 

“Do we have to call you JPJ now? Because to be honest I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

Everyone laughed, but it was a question everyone had been asking ever since they had announced they were taking each other’s last names. 

“No, please keep calling me JJ, please.” Said JJ “Now can we raise our glasses?” 

They all raised their glasses, cheering for JJ and Emily. As they were all talking, Penelope got up. “WAIT A SECOND”. 

They all jumped, looking at her. “What’s going on baby?” Asked Morgan, as confused as everyone else. 

“Is it what I think it is?” She asked, looking at both of the brides. 

“You’re going to have to be more specific Garcia” said Emily. 

“JJ, why isn’t there Champaign in your glass?”

JJ looked at Emily and shrugged. 

“OH MY GOD JENNIFER JAREAU ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

JJ only smiled and winked at her best friend. Everyone was surprised but extremely happy for them. Morgan got up to hug JJ while the rest of the team was congratulating them. 

“DEREK MORGAN LET HER GO YOUR BEAUTIFUL SHARP MUSCLES ARE WAY TOO STRONG YOU’RE GOING TO CRUSH MY GODCHILD” Penelope pushed him away to hug JJ. 

“Goddaughter” whispered JJ in her ear. 

“OH MY GOD I THINK I’M GOING TO LITERALLY PASS OUT”. 

Everyone was cheerful, hugging each other, smiling, talking. Emily turned around to face her wife, and they shared a look, they were about to enter a new chapter in their lives, and for once, this one was gonna have a happy ending. 

“ _We look at each other and we smile, that smile, like a secret we share, we both know we’ve found what the whole world is searching for_ ” - JmStorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today! Please please tell me if you liked it or not!   
> I don't know when i'm gonna post next chapter (probably in a week or so) but it's gonna be the last one...I'm really sad about that hahaha. 
> 
> Anyway, please leave a comment!
> 
> Stay safe, 
> 
> Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm not gonna lie, posting the last chapter is really hard. Although, I really liked writing it, and I hope you'll like it too. Enjoy!

_ 3 YEARS LATER _

SEPTEMBER

“C’mon Rose, breakfast’s ready” yelled JJ at the bottom of the stairs. It only took a second to see a 3 years old little girl with blond curly hair and absolutely no clothes running down the stairs. 

“I’m ready mommy” she said with her little voice. 

“Wasn’t Henry supposed to help you get dressed?” asked JJ. 

“She said she didn’t want to and slammed the door” said Henry. He was now 11 years old, he was tall and would probably be taller than JJ is less than two years, a fact that she didn’t want to admit. She raised an eyebrow, looking at Rose, waiting for an explanation. 

“It's too hot” she said, pouting. 

“You know you’re gonna have to have clothes on when grandpa arrives, right?”

“Can I eat breakfast?”

JJ couldn’t resist, her puppy eyes were too cute for her to say no. “Okay, c’mon, mama is waiting for us”. 

She took her daughter’s hand and they went to the kitchen. 

Emily was in the kitchen, already dressed. She had made blueberries pancakes and orange juice, Rose’s favourite breakfast. She had also made bacon for Henry and JJ, it was their favourite breakfast food, she had tried to introduce them to a lot of different things but no matter what happened, it always came back to bacon so she gave up. 

Rose was followed by Henry and JJ. She jumped in her mama’s arms and hugged her to say hello. “Let me guess? Don’t wanna get dressed?”

The little girl nodded. 

“Did you use the look?”

“Yup she did, thanks for that by the way” said JJ as she kissed her wife on the forehead before trying to grab a piece of bacon, but Emily slapped her hand before she could. 

“Hey!”

“No eating before everyone is sitting around the table, the rule also applies to mommy”. 

Rose jumped on a chair, ready to eat. 

“Em, you’ve got blueberries on your lips” whispered JJ. 

Emily stayed quiet and JJ raised an eyebrow, took a piece of bacon and ate it right in front of her wife, with a proud smile on her face. 

“Ugh, I hate you”

“Sure you do” JJ got behind her and wrapped her hands above her waist and rested her head on her shoulder “You love me”

“Meh” Emily removed JJ’s hands from her waist and started serving everyone. 

It only took three minutes for Rose and Henry to eat their food. They were excited, today was gonna be a big day. They loved their grandpa, and spending the day with him meant presents, ice cream, surprises, and unconditional love. 

“Grandpa is on his way, you need to go get dressed, chop chop” said JJ, while cleaning the breakfast table. 

“I’ll go help her get dressed, to avoid another disaster”

“Good thinking” said JJ, chuckling. 

Emily followed her daughter upstairs to dress her and help her get ready. Ten minutes later, Henry was ready and watching TV and Rose was almost done brushing her teeth. The doorbell rang and JJ immediately opened the door to hug the man standing on the front porch. 

“Dad!”

“Hey sweetie, how’s it going?”

“Great, I’m so glad to see you”

“Me too honey, where are the kids?”

“Henry’s in the living room and Rose is almost ready.” 

“So, tell me Jennifer, how’s your job?”

“It’s great, there has been a lot of changes, you remember Morgan?”

“Yes of course! A real gentleman, I honestly thought you were gonna date him for a while” JJ made a face to express her disgust, which made her father laugh. “Don’t worry, I like Emily better”. 

“So Morgan left a while ago, and now there’s a bunch of new guys, and they’re awesome, the team has grown which even allowed me to work part time to take care of Rose. And you already know that but Will has a new life now on the west coast, and I have full custody of Henry”

“Yeah, by the way, how’s the adoption going?”

“It’s going great, we just have to wait for the paperwork to be done and Emily will legally be Henry’s other mom in a few weeks!”

“And Henry’s okay with that?”

“Absolutely, to be honest I don’t know which one of them is more thrilled”

“That’s really great, I really happy for you honey”

“Thanks dad”

“You know, I should have told you this earlier, but I’m really glad you named your daughter Rose, your sister would be so proud of you. You’ve got a great family, I wish she could be here to witness it.”

“Me too, dad, me too”. 

JJ’s eyes were filled with tears, but she decided she wasn’t gonna cry today, so she turned around and yelled “Kids! Grandpa’s here!”. 

Henry turned off the TV and ran to hug his grandpa while Rose yelled with her mouth full of toothpaste “COMING”, which made JJ and her dad laugh. 

When Rose finally came down the stairs, JJ’s dad kneeled down to look at them and whispered “Are you ready for your surprise?”

Rose started jumping up and down “yes yes yes yes yes yes”. 

“Where are we going?” asked Henry, eager to find out what the surprise was. 

“You’ll know soon, just grab your stuff and get in the car”. Emily handed them their backpacks and lunches before kissing them goodbye. 

As they were making their way to the car, JJ’s dad turned around and said “Don’t worry, we won’t come back late”

JJ and Emily waved at them before going back inside. 

JJ closed the door and went upstairs to get dressed while Emily finished cleaning the dishes. When they were both done, Emily sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. She was soon joined by JJ who automatically rested her head on her wife’s knees. Emily started playing with her hair, which made JJ smile. It had been three years since their wedding, 5 years since their first meeting, and she still felt the same, the butterfly in her belly, the warmth in her heart, the happiness Emily was bringing her. She couldn’t wish for a better life than this one. 

But after a few minutes of complete silence, JJ lifted her head, looking at the brunette. It only took them a second to realize they were thinking about the same thing. 

“I hate this silence” said Emily

“Wanna..” JJ didn’t even have time to finish her sentence that Emily said “get some coffee? I’d love to”. 

“I know a great place” said JJ with a wink. 

They both left. They arrived at the same coffee shop they’ve been going for the past 5 years. They entered, it was less crowded than usual, apparently another celebrity had advertised for a coffee shop two blocks away. The barista was still the same one, they had gotten to know her better, and they considered them great friends. 

“Hey Grace, how are you doing?”

“I’m good, what about you? What’s bringing you so early on a saturday morning?”

“The kids aren’t home” said JJ

“Still not used to the silence?” asked Grace, already knowing the answer. 

“..yeah”

“The usual?”

“Absolutely” said JJ as she grabbed her wallet. 

“Please, this one’s on me, it’s really good to see you”

Both women moved to the other side of the bar, waiting for their drinks. Two minutes later, they had their drinks and were looking for a place to sit. 

“Well well well, what a coincidence” said Emily, heading towards an empty table. 

They both sat down, smiling. “That’s where we first met, you decided to sit in front of me, you could have chosen anyone, but you chose me” said JJ.

“Best decision of my life”. 

They both smiled as they started drinking their coffee. JJ bent down to grab something in her purse. A book. Emily looked at the title and said “Germinal, Zola, another great french author, huh? Spencer?”

“Obviously. Let me guess, you read it in french when you were only thirteen and already fluent in French?”

“twelve actually”

“show off”

“always”. 

_ “I wasn’t ready for you. But there you were and there I was, now here we are, and somewhere in between, you became my favorite coincidence” - E.V. Rogina _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Yeah that's the end of "What are the odds" (I might or might not be crying while posting this). If you liked that fic, please leave some comments/kudos. 
> 
> I know now most of y’all are gonna close this tab and forget about this fic, and i don’t blame you don’t worry. But I just wanted to thank you so much. I stopped writing in 2013, and for years i’ve been wanting to write again but i didn’t, idk why. And a few months ago, that will to write became a lot stronger. I missed creating something. So i started writing again. I am so glad i did. What are the odds means a lot to me, i loved writing it, i invested so much of my time in this fic, i spent days writing, and i’ll forever be grateful for this experience. Don’t get me wrong, i loved writing After Dusk, but this one is very special to me. Tbh i wouldn’t have survived these past months without this. And if i kept writing, it’s because of your support, all of your nice comments, your dms, you helped me believe that i might actually be good at something and not useless after all. I love writing. Anyway, i just wanted to say thanks. I’m already working on a new fic and a couple of OS that i’ll start posting in a few weeks (if i have enough time to write). 
> 
> So I'll see you soon, 
> 
> Love, 
> 
> -Jo (@samludgay on twitter)


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